The way it is.

My posts seem to say that it is not a happy thing for me to be trans.  That I do not enjoyit.  This is wrong.  I want to do it right, properly so set the bar very high.  Also it is not optional anymore and I need to do it.  Just felt it necessary to put the record right on that one.

Better to travel hopefully..

Just reread my last post.  Possibly it sounds too harsh on Jodie.  If so not meant.Must be hard to day in day out to listen to Trannys with sob stories who expect more than is reasonable from great makeup and good clothes sense.  And that's it really.  How great is some MAC and Long Tall Sally.  How much magic can they weave?  I recently talked to a guy in a suit who said would dress but needed to lose 3 stones so did not.  Go to Flickr how many pics show tgurls who really could do with losing a bit of weight?  Don't get me wrong, I am not completely having a go at them.  Presumably the clothes are enough, which must be great.  I lost 1.5 stones and do a lot of pilates most days to keep me in shape. I am still not happy with my look. They get the effect they are after without that. Clothes are not enough.  I like catsuits and my Flickr stream is littered with my pics of this.  Someone is very polite and will post some flattering reference to Diana Rigg.  This is what she could do;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxSpTKE5Jno&feature=player_embedded

Wasting my time!!!

Paying for company

OK lets "unpack" a visit to the Boudoir dressing service.  Why go?  Basically because I have no Tgurl friends to talk to and swap experience to learn from.  Sad but true. It would have been the 6th visit.  For the last 5 I have wondered if I would return and have.  Finally did the going there dressed but not by tube.  Its £180, a lot but not too much.  Its something to look forward to in the cold dark months with limited dressing opportunities and that is worth a lot believe me.  I got the 20% off voucher for Trendco, got the choice of wig, got experience of MAC StudioSculpt concealer, may be a good thing.  Even more imprtantly calmed me down and said I was doing OK,could go out.  Will I go again?  Keep meaning to go else where.  Jodie can be a bit "perfunctuary" and going throught the motions, a second opinion would be good.  We shall see.  Ideally I would like to think I had outgrown them and developed more as a tgurl.

From Chuck Yeager to Alan Shepard

Last year I went to london and the Boudoir.  The plan was to go dressed.  9.30am there I was, dressed, madeup, the plan was to return in boy mode so had plastic bag with stuff, bag broke, gave me the excuse to abort it.  Probably having to do the tube frightened me too much.  This year diffeent room same plan.  Modification take a taxi, Jodie at new place closer.  Been out in Brighton so bit better.   Dressed, madeup, packed then... Phoned for a taxi.  Waited outside at 9.50am.  Taxi arrives 5 mins later.  Takes 10 mins.  Drops me outside Bethnal Green tube £12.  Walk around Bethnal Green ,  sit in park, people pass me I pass them.  At 1045 arrive at Boudoir.  OK she says "your are early, not ready yet"  but knocked on door dressed in lycra leggings, M and S Covent Garden top, flat shoes and little scarf.  Out in the world for say 35 mins, dressed, alone.  No sweat.  OK did not then go to Trendco dressed which would have involved the tube.  Oh yes, I took a "I was there" pic too. 

Atale of 2 tall girls

Last April I was in Brighton and saw a girl as tall as me.  Skinny jeans with a lot smaller girl, brown hair.  It was quite a shock and had to spend money in MAC to recover.  So that is what , at some very best, I could hope to look like.  Not a good moment I must say.  Rather a dent in my confidence.  Anway, fast forward to March 2011.  Durham.  Saw a really tall girl.  German ot Dutch or scandenavian.  Flip flops, small shorts, tee shirt, hair scrunched up.  Even taller.  Eventually got up to her in passing in the street, I only went up to her shoulder.  Now for the good bit.  Nobody took any notice of her, nobody pointed or even waited till she passed to stare at her.  So you could be that tall and ignored.  OK she looked as she was total girlbut still better news.  OK may not pass but nobody may care.  Like to beleive that one.

Treading Water

Had a couple of chances to dress since back.  One with makeup and pics one a bit sudden, no or very little makeup mostly trying to sort out lighting for pics.  The lycra leggings still really work well. Pics not really upto it.  Looking as if to take the pics to next level some big work is required. The pics showed old me again, not due totally to direct flash!  Still get thoughts of deleting Flickr account and am I too old.  Get the big "will it pass?" thought.   The hunt for a new camera goes on too.Assuming still sticking with Sony unless spend £500 plus all of them have flaws. One to ponder on.  Suspect will probably wait for new model to come out, possibly the 560, mif it ever appears!

Better to travel hopefully..

Well, that was the week that was! Saturday to tuesday morning alone as Paige.  Wednesday till saturday in brighton.  Too much too concentrated of course.  Lots of plannning, charging batteries and expectation.  So spent sunday and monday taking pics, getting the wireless flash system running and just doing it.  Should be enough pics for a couple of months.  Brihgton, well much expectation and hope and belief.  The result was on the whole positive.  Dressed all 3 days, out in Legends twice, sexual meet but not anal but BDSM, yay!  Ideally wuld have gone out during the day but must have logged a good few hours as Paige.  OK Legends was a safe area but sadly not chatted up.  Met B*******S****, lets be polite, ditsy.  Shopped for an outfit, got a nice outfit. Shopping at MAC.  Standing outside Gulivers , dressed, waiting for my date with a bottle of wine.  Worth a lot. Back to reality.  learnt a bit about makeup, taking pics and BDSM.  Sadly do look older, oh dear.  8/10