Not ON The Bench

In the Paige mythology as said to several people and may even be true I had a detached retina and spent a weekend in hospital.  Whilst there on my Sony Walkman I listened to this track by Joe Jackson Go For IT  .  Busy at the time worrying about the flapping retina in my opitical field but prefer to believe it was partly responsible for Paige visiting Lacies and the rest is history.  We all rewrite history or else we go mad but anyway the point is I may not be hitting the back of the net but I an at least turning up at the ground.  Actually the link is to some group doing a bad version of the song.  The backing singer is off and the brass is bad BUT they have tried.  They have made the effort.  Like me, but not literally, I have put on the slap, the wig and clothes and put my head above the parapet and GONE FOR IT.  That makes then  all right by me.  Perhaps its like football, you support the team but they may be rubbish but they are playing the game, they play football, they are footballers.  I may not be female but I am putting the kit on and playing the game.  I may lose but that is not the point, I am getting a kick of the ball

Pass or fail

There does after all appear to be some sort of Flickr quality control at work.  I finally uploaded some pics from my last Imageworks appointment, very pleased with them I was too. Got a lot of nice responses and views so clearly doing something right! There is a sense that I have been slightly slipping in some of the pics I posted.  Stopped the 2 times a week posting rota and probably not posting as much. 

On another site a couple of my contacts have "retired" allways a sad thing to see I suppose but no doubt they have their reasons.  Do wonder whether I have outgrown that site and getting disenchanted with Flickr OK probably because not getting enough nice comments. 

I do not do walking away!

Back in the early 80's I used to be interested in modern military history.  Two books come to mind.  One showed photos from the Falklands war,  servicemen were dirty, unshaven and looked as if they had slept rough and had a bad breakfast to misquote Oliver Rendall Holmes.  The second book was the American Invasion of Grenada with images of cleanshaven, clean servicemen.  OK this may have been false and insulting to those whose were there but bear with me.  You get dressed in your room, put makeup on and take a pic.  If lucky you get a few hours perhaps even overnight, absolutely fantastic.  Then again you get up, dress, makeup and go out, exposed to the elements and "do it for real."  Those shoes ache, the wig needs a lot of work, the makeup runs.  Then there is the practical aspects; where to carry money, what watch to wear, what type of bag.  This ignores such topics as talking to people, using female toilets etc.   It is fine and for most of the time the best you will get to do the few snatched hours but if you want to "do it for real" and there is no requirement to do so it all gets much more difficult. There is no choice for me, if the "door is open" I need to step through it even if you end up with blisters which take over 4 weeks to heal.

You keep on knocking...

Started to think about holiday 2012.  Booking room at legends.  It will be in August.  Lots of stuff here.  Holiday now means Paige time, Brighton means out dressed.  It also means 4 plus months away, gulp.  Only other windows of opportunity would have been April holidays or late may/june.  Went for february holiday, complete result so cannot complain but far away in time. Wondering about Sparkle, possible weekend.  Its money car will be nasty, then holiday in August will be expensive.  No way going back to University of Brighton.
Been looking at old pics, 2004 Paige, as then unnamed, was trying to get out.  Ignoring it , denial.  Stupid, stupid me.  Could have had 4 years headstart.

I just hope that something good about to happen

Sometimes you have to just record whats happening and get on with it.  Only later may something wonderful happen and you look back and can see the roots of it earlier.  Well, I have to hope something wonderful will happen for certainly things feel as if they are changing!  Had an evening and night to dress, normally this would have been the cue for beaucoup pics but not then.  Then today good solid safe 4 hours, nope no pics. OK I am falling out of love with Flickr but there is something else.  Not sure what but Paige has somehow perculated to the surface in different ways.  Cannot put a finger on it but preferf to believe its a transitional phase, how can it be?  What do I want anyway?  Does this take us to the counselling issues?  When will Paige next be out in daylight?  No answers but live in hope. The title is from Kate Bush Cloudbusting single, yes Donald Sutherland.

Doing one's best

Well its over 1 week since I was in Brighton and I still get twinges. Nobody in so ironed some of Paiges things, bad moment.  Women with leggings and flat shoes showing a bit of the foot tend to be a problem too because thats what I wore.  In the 70's and 80's there were one off plays where a person would go somewhere new, goodthings would happen and it would end happily.  Bit of wishfullment but not impossible.  So I go to Brighton, wednesday snog and chat to loopy Irishwomen, thursday OK Alison Dale, friday, Kim party but saturday.  Well, go for meal but waiter puts sandwichws on table says free as overbought, eat them go to town with gurl just met.  Legends change, meet drag artist, gg, pretty girls wearing very little at bar.  Disco OK.  Alright add MAC makeover and out dressed 2 daysthe Signalman, its all good, not for you presumably.  Other times been in nLegends , nothing, out with Stella, nothing.  Lets go with the concept of overfishing, go occasionally wonderful things happe.  Go regularly not so wonderful.  Perhaps its just some self justification but great few days.  Pic shows me in Brighton museum clothes section, handy mirror.  George the 4th;s breetches, sarum 4 PVC dress.  Paige's best effort.

In the field

Well the holiday has been and gone.  The little bit of warmth to keep me going after Christmas and the dark mornings has happened.  Did it live up to expectations, was it a success? Oh yes it was.  Lets start critical.  The drwessing service was, as ever, less than perfect.  There was no "extras" removing the makeup after 20 mins and changing out of a skirt noty sure what that was about.  Prefer to see it as a friendly thing , not needing to make the effort, eating the salad together again bonus.  The possibility of actually getting an article would be lovely but there is form there so not holding my breath.  It was all over by 4.30, train 8.34 from Victoria so the rest of that evening was a bit disapointing, just walking around Victoria, not ideal.   Had I known would have got earlier ticket. 
Then to Paige's days out.  The evening one was just to get "sealegs", the "Hi mate, do you have a lighter" moment hmm, not in any way aggressive lets call it acceptance.  Day 1 out, OK the boots looked good but were a nightmare to walk for extended periods in.  No overall plan but hit loads of targets, the MAC makeover went well, only spent £48 so result.  Great effect on the eyes. Shame Buddha closed.  Evening party, again a success, happy with that , the young gurl there was a nice bonus.  Day2, was there any plans for a day2 anyway? Again the boots, having to buy the same booties I had already was a pain but definatly necessary.  The wig was a mess, that spolit things as did the money worries but even so big success.  The evning meeting was absolutly so much better than could reasonably expected.  Fiddly ending but no matter.  Out in heels, stockings and a short skirt, lovely.  The "changed yournpanties" moment, fab.  So complete utter success beyond expectations.  Learnt things;  shoes need to be comfortable, need to sort out a proper bag, need to sort out a coat, need to be on top of game with wig.  Cup half full, happy with so much, started on voice, bit of useful makeup practise, the walk needs not be too exagarated, thwe scarf works well, loved the earrings.