Flat Battery

For the third sunday running I have been able to dress and for the second week running the pics have failed and I have been able tosalvage something.  Last time it was lens flare, this time it was the batteries failing on the Sony flash.  Half suspected it migth happen but did niot believe all 3 sets of rechargable batteries would be flat!  Tried and failed to find other alkaline batteries.  Then tried to use mains flash but would not syncronise and finally called it a day.  Tried a smoky eye look but not really successful.  Also used the MAC StudioSculpt which seemed slightly dark.Next sunday is the big one, all day.  Must be up to speed for that. Not really sure what going to do, possibly better background, build a bit of a set, we shall see.  Ideally do a Xmas card. Hopefully not show too much skin in all the pics. 
Had too much to eat today having stopped the diet.  Getting slightly worried the february holidays may be a bit of a battle to get off.  Do need it though.  Decided against an evening at York, not really sure why.  New Years Eve will be the next big one, high hopes for that one.

So far and no further

This morning I went on the scales.  11st 2,something it said.  OK I had been drinking and peeing so a diauretic effect and bit lower in weight but that was it. Granted later in the day it said 11 st 3 something but there was a sense that it was all over.  OK it was not just the first stage.  Can start having biscuits and other treats but do need to be sensitive to notgoing back to the old ways.  OK we are realistic that weight varies over the day and is not a constant. Also that the body today is more muscular and thinner so weight is only one metric in going with size.  So did I lose a stone, 14 lb?  Possibly but no guarantee.  last time I say I was 12 3/4 down to 11 st 2 lb but again question marks remain over the scales.  It took a lot longer but was not running or overly exercising but not taking the whey protein either.  Feel the cold a bit more and do feel more tired.  The weight was too high this time and hope to keep to 11 1/2 st. We shall see.  However it is a result od sorts even if basically wanted an excuse to stop.Lets be positive, it is a good thing.

The Old Question

OK the weight is definately reaching the conclusion of the journey.  probably originally 12 st 3 lb now 11 st 4.  Ideally like to say lost a stone, may yet happen.  Will bounce back up as ever but still not a bad loss. Certainly feel better.  There is a strange sense of feminity.  The rather flawed photoset from sunday showed a couple of pics which apart from big feet, big hands and wrinkles suggested female.  This leads to a little problem.  You know you can do it and have done it and want to do more.  Also you have a sense that time is passing and in a few years the look willl be gone.  Not good at all. However, how to progress?  I do not know but a definitew concern. There is also the possibility of more pics or at least dressing on this sunday.  Hopefully will attempt to sort out the killer lens flare.   
Had a twinge of concern february holidays might be blocked but hopefully not. 
Like to do something for Xmas but not sure what would be possible.
Got the red postcard saying my estrofem had arrived and could be picked up.  Four wheels, take to end of march at least. Again the question is where to go? Do not know but do keep going to the edge and wondering.

Was at other school and a kid goes "like your earrings."   Lots of stuff there but never take them out.  Do people treat me differently because of them?

Weightly matters

First off my weight.  Well it might be as low as 11 st 3.5 lb.  Whatever it is it feels time to call it a day.  probably go till Xmas then stop.  That feels right.  Seeing more bone and the face is a trifle gaunt.  Put the underbust corset and got down to 26 in.  A Flicker girl said she got down to 24 in. A target but possibly too optimistic.  Hit MAc Newcastle needed some new foundation, I deally use Aldi's but they do not seem to hav eit in.  Ended up getting a brush set for £42.  5 brushes a bargain.  Posiibly not as they are smaller than usual ones, hopefully if the head is the same it will not be a problem. Tried about a new wig.  Initially the woman said could do one for £100 but £130 seems more likely, too much sadly.  Will phone back next week to see if she has managed to source one at £100.  Not been much change on the cosmetics front, never really get the chance.  The vintage bra, slightly too big and girdle arrived, for 31-32 in size 10.  OK but not really tight, could go down a size.  May yet go for 6 strap suspender belt at £20.  December 14th is the big date when should get all day to go for it.  Last 2 sundays been able to dress and do some pics, the body is as good as it ever was but older. 
Support group cancelled at last minute surprisingly missed it.Had hoped to get some time for myself and supervisor, would have had a good blurting chat, some other time possibly.   The next one will probably the last of the year.  sadly means unlikely to be a bit of a party, ie food.  Hoping to wear new boots or new heels.
Hormones kicking in.  Nipples more sensitive and felt a bit of a jiggle today.  Also bit of a tizzy.  Be great if it killed my libido.  Got to be careful not to put on weigth this time. 
In a lightening strike gott eh tickets to and from london for £30 in total.  Read the email at 12.30.  Bought by 13.30.  First class would have been nice but too expensive.  Middle of february but really need it.  Should get 3 days. May even go to Rochester for a photosession, we shall see.
Will not be alone during the XMas holidays, well at least not all the time. If can get 1 day of dressing and New Years Eve willl be happy.  As ever we must manage our expectations.  Tried on the vintage stuff tonight, gott eh shakes and right tizzy, that means something.   Feel better about body but the aging thing does not help.  Then again seen some very encouraging pics of older girls on Flickr so still time left.

Less is more

Yesterday i was walking through the town centre.  Passed a womens shoe shop and saw a lovely pair of shoes.  Walked on 100 yards, walked back, dropped £29.99, they were mine.  Did some pics with them today, they are fab but would a real girl wear them and a would a real girl of my age wear them?  Heard a new phrase recently, "bedroom shoes" now these shoes are not that but a good 8 inch heel.  "They fly off the shelves"said the shop asistant.  Size 7 fitted OK.  Also ordered a 50's style bullet bra and long suspender belt, corset. See how we go with that.  Later on december will get a quality, solid, all day, chace to dress and take pics so need to make the best of it.  Hopefully do a Xmas card, vid and have a nice time.  Not sure what XMas will have but probaly New Years Eve by myself, dressing, dressing, dressing. Back on the hormones.  slight nipple pain, couple of mental moments but could be anything.

Orderd 4 more wheels.  Weight down to 11 st 5 lb.  Put on a corset down to 26 in.  24 inch would be a challenge but possible, we shall see. Certainly feel the benefits of being thinner and fitter.

That was then , this is now.

Had a chance to do some pics today and went for it.  The new camera is still a pain but a bit further forward.  Its cold which did not really help and not really sure how long I had.  makeup a bit of a mess but that happens. Basically the camera acts up and the vibe goes, you keep listening for cars or the door, the vibe goes.  The wind changes, the vibe goes.  No wonder I usually do not smile.  The old camera I could be good to go in 5 mins and bang out 300 pics.A couple more sessions and should be there but we shall see.  Possibly chance next week.  Then in December. The lingerie I posed in a
Big questions about where I am going.  The diet seems to have levelled out at 11 st 6 lb.  Not really seen in the pics it has to be said.  Look older too. Nothing new there.  Really annoyed by the camera it has to be said.  Posed a not especially silly question about being XXY on a website.  People were kind. probably restart the hormones in the new year. That just came up off the floor but need to go somewhere.
The top pic is dated 28th August 2010, LSE, Roseberry Hall.  Probably went to Jodies dressed then, trip to Honour Waterloo, whales. Thde Woman In Black. The lingerie was purchased as East Boldon Asda before that when had to drop off people going on holiday.  Just seena pic by another tgirl saying the work she put in to get a "semi nude pic she did not want to delete immediately.  Still she has a young face that is worth a lot. Still in with a chance.

Steady as she goes

It was the support group on tuesday.  For the last 3 meetings it has been me and another girl and left wondering who was supporting who?  Wore heels the ones which had seen action in Sweet Wednesday's, Brighton and The Love Shack.  They were past their best.  Went to Matalan tonight and saw a nice pair with an acceptable heel so bought them.  Very little embarassment, just did it. May well use them next meeting, where ever that is.  Not a lot of dressing recently.  Not sure why.
Weight is looking good. Down to 11st 6 ib, probaly.  Face a bit shrunken but not a problem. Probably lost 10 lb not sure how much further going.  Its work and a pain but used to it now.  Actually body looking diffeent this time, abdomen more shrunken.  The running is working.  Will revisit it in mid December.