Getting Things In Focus

Well left alone for the weekend and yesterday managed some dressing, no makeup and today managed pics. Up for started 10 am , lots of shaving of body, then moisturising, tidying up and geting things ready, seting up the back ground.  Moving furniture. At 12 stoppd for lunch and really was in front of the camera by 1 15 pm. Still lots of hunting for clothing and the running baseball cap. Thought it would be good to try the 50 mm prime lens again. called it a day at 4.30 and felt a lot better as ever do. The problems started when looked at he pics. Too many were out of focus and too amny were badly exposed. Granted white on a white background was nott ideal there was something else, I suspect the 50 mm lens.  Then CS3 did not have a RAW plugin, odd but sort of sorted that. It is not good enough really. Get insufficient chances to take pics and when do they come out do not get enough good ones.  once it was a 15 min operation, tripod, setup camera, intervalometer, put flash unit on bannister, job done.  Granted lots of possible flare but it did turn out a reasonable print. The advanced technique, bounce flash and all, can be much more effective. However to get there takes so much longer, when it goes wrong well you feel it burn.
The other point was the pics show an older face, a wider stomach and a big ribcage.  Here it comes. There is now a real sense it is coming very soon to realise I can no longer, if I ever could, the young pics and move on. Also that the Transwoman I a is an older woman.

Not A Lot Really

This blog is brought to you by Vermention Terre Siciliane white wine, basically a mild pinot grigio. Managed to stretch the piercing, from 2.4 to 3 mm. Tried couple of times before but this time used a bigger taper, lots of lube and it took 5 mins. The taper seemed to go deep enough so tried with actual ring, could see it other side of the hole, bit of a push and it was through, not painful at all. OK bit of an ache later but thats that. Probably changing to the steel BCR gave an little extra weight so it started to be stretched.  In a couple of month will try again for 4 mm.
Had half hoped to dress on either/and friday and sunday.  It didnot happen which is surprisingly irratiting and getting me down. Next weekend should happen with  a bit of luck. Not sure what pics will do but even so. Saw pics of me at half marathon, looked old, the nose mouth crease very prominent. After run in bath used hair conditioner to shave with, surprisingly effective. Used to do that years ago but stopped as the epilation kicked in. Sometimes you know things but you stop doing them for some reason. In the look for the tapers found dog tags, On the 11/08/07 went into Lacies for the first time and kicked it off. .the best date to go with. That makes Paige 8, wow, Sapphire as an alter ego is younger.
The diet is not really doing much, 11st 9-10 still.  Then again the powerhouse is looking a lot better.  The pics will show how effective the exercise has actually been.Looking forward to the chance to do some alfresco shots must say. Need to sort out wig,coat, flat shoes insoles and VOICE, possibly even camera.Be nice to do London too.
Ordered a couple of How To DO A Burlesque Strip, not sure where, if anywhere, that one is going.

Summertime Dreaming

OK lets be real. Its a compromise, I do not have the money for a big real holiday so need to compromise.  Also Paige needs time out. There is also the thought of Trans Pride to go to. Legends is going to be too expensive or noisy and University of Brighton just not a starter. That leaves Sussex University, not happy with needing to get a train in but will have to live with it. Would like to do London, Sweet Wedneday posibly, see the blue whale. Do the walk, try for some more alfresco pics, there are still things to do. Granted ideally would be somewhere new but a week in Manchester or Liverpool would be too expensive. So sent an application in for 10 days at Falmer. The potential runs are more complicated but not too bad and the refrectories make up for a lot. Sadly  no dressing services probably. Again not totally sure what to expect from Trans Pride anyway. Suppose the question is what do I hope for in a holiday?This topic will be discussed ad nausem until it happens and then post mortemed but lets see this as a first post on the topic.

Dressing and Makeup

It is 23:17 on friday first of May. I am dressed, heels, even makeup after a fashion. No big wow moment but feel OK.  Again looking older, not just the quick makeup, there is a sense need to move on and accept it. The body is fine, too tall but the face not so good. Do need to get a new wig. The ones I have now are not really good enough. Cannot do my lips, too thin and need to be careful with the highlighter. Shaved off a lot of body hair, that is always good.
The magazine which said it would publish some  of my pics is now available to buy. Ideally they would have emailed me after replied to their questions.  Would not be too surprised if  the pics were not in the mag.Still will buy it when come across it.
Should be ale to book summer holiday accommodation. Its 00:24 now, removed makeup, moisturised and put drops in eyes. The eyes ar the batle.  The eye liner is a swine to remove, Clinique "Take the day off" absolutely changed my makeup as I could remove the evidence completely which I could not before. Used Ultrabland, Lush, which is not as successful as Aldi's makeup wipes. When used Kryolan stick it was a right nightmare to take off. Its an important thing to get right especially if expecting people back now! Tired so will stop.  Despite everything its been a success and do feel better for it. Should get longer in a couple of weeks time.

Another Quick One

Managed to get in a very brief dressing session. Interupted half way through by guy from Amazon, it was 7 pm by now. Got out of lycra dress, wig, bra, breastforms and heels, put on boy stuff Sadly my feet showed my tights still on. Oh dear. Not a big deal, this has happened several times on holiday but not at home. No makeup or attempt to take pics. Fell calmer, definatly. Wore glasses seemed to go well with wig. The lycra PVC catsuit well, still looked slightly fat bit not too bad. Do need to sort out new wig, as ever voice too.
Need a proper session, makeup, pics, perhaps even some new clothes.  There should be at least a day in mid May, so that will help.  Lots of stuff about where we are going and starting hormones,again, again.
looking oler and really womdering where its all going if anywhere. Been saying things need to change but not sure however how this might happen.
The pilates has made a difference and do believe the stomach, and possibly the legs do look better.  I have a hope that I can take some South Downs bikini shots this year and they will look better. Hopefully new pics will look better, currently the waist is letting m down, there may be a time where it becomes necessary to accept a look as the best I am going toget or am prepared to work towards.

Quick fix

Well managed a quick dressing session today, quick being the operative word.  No contact lenses or makeup and not for long but even so it was a relative success, feel better.  I am at still 11st 11 lb which does not seem so bad, did some pilates this morning which is helping. The legs appear to be very muscular in heels not to bad. Missing MYBuyBox several things would like to buy! Like to try a burlesque strip, seen a couple of possible tutorial vids and have a look in my head. Then again the voice has hardly advanced in several years.
No reply from the mag which said tbey wanted to publish some pics. Not especially surprised, hope they do get published, vain tart I am. In the middle of May should get a 100% totally deffo chance to dress and take pics. The problem now is that have no new looks to do.
Been a couple of thoughts about trying the hormones again, not seriously but even so. The weather is more sunny so bit more "frisky"hormones would stop that, which would be good. Need to get body in shape for holidays as do have a few ideas for pics outdoors! This would require a new camera which would cost money and that is an issue at the moment.
Wondering about Summer 2015. Ideally spend some time in London and Manchester but also Trans Pride Brighton. Difficult from a logistic and financial position I realise. Just cannot really see having the money. Like to do Pink Punters but also Canal street on a saturday but how?  Brighton and London are easy enough but London to Manchester is a long journey.  Possibly Manchester and Liverpool in Oct/Nov and Brighton/London in the summer.  Last year the Pride event was very little to do with Trans, granted they were the week before.
Its 3 months away which gives me time to save some money!

Clothes Maketh The Woman

If you were to look at my Flickr stream you would see a lot of me , in several senses, in lingerie. This is OK as the pics are OK but not what I had hoped for. Ideally I would be wearing expensive suites and some such, lovely dresses and evening gowns, there would also be pics of me in clubs and restaurants. This is not my life as Sapphire.  Most of the time it is snatched evenings in leggings and a sweater but probably no makeup or afternoons taking pics. With a bit of  luck 3 times a year I get out and about. February and November are cold, August is, hopefully hot so more skin can be shown. Yet the pics tend to show leggings, flat shoes, a long tshirt I suppose it is and the cagoule and sweater. This I prefer to believe works and I sort of blend in. I could wear a skirt but long legs would perhaps be too obvious or, I wish, attract the wrong type of attention until they realise what they are looking at. There have been several occasions where it is entirely possible I have had several approving comments, ignoring feminist pleadings.
Would like a coat, ideally trench coat, that feels right somehow. There is a concern about flat shoes making my feet look too long but heels make me look even larger and even even taller. Brighton had a Long Tall Sally but its not there now. York would be closest.Did pop in a couple of times but nothing was both cheap enough and nice enough. Did half hope to get a girly parka last, hopefully, winter.