Not A Lot Really

Sapphire has been pinging a bit, really should be in Manchester but an not. Again the chance to do a Halloween pic did not happen. Used an Alison pic which the Flickr verse seemed to like. Wondering about a new flash unit, ideally a mains unit. OK yes I have on, two actually but even so. The problem is the size of the available area. Really need a bigger space. Finally shaved my face today after 5 days, skin nice and soft. Will have to do more pilates, hopefully it will make my calf muscles less blokey from behind. Putting on abit of weight, must be  11st 10 if not more. Will need to be careful about that.
Seen a few choice pieces of  clothong and corsets which might quite like. Possibly for Xmas.  A post in TvChix suggests Axfords is closing, personally be surprised and not a bit saddened. Was sad to hear Lacies Hove closing down but not a big loss as had moved on but even so if cannot survive in Brighton where can you survive?

It Might Be More Serious Than I Thought

Finally did some drssing today and took some pics. went as well as can be expected. The flash was silly but not too bad, there was lens flare but not too bad, the makeup was OK. It was slightly cold which didnot help. All in all it was a reasinably stressful experience and I was slightly working to a time limit. The big problem is that I do have a proper flash system but it requires time to setup and also needs a bigger space. Possibly if ever get the chance to do a proper set then can use it. To be honest the pics have rarely delivered the ideal standard I am aiming for technically. If set up the tripod, umbrella et al then can get a good technical pic. The flash gun is getting on  now and not sure how much longer it can be used. anot complain as it must be at least 6 years old. The Sony Alpha 57 is a bit of a bad camera too.  Why not use wireless flash in Intelligent Auto mode?
Then again after it was all over and posted a couple of pics I started to feel slightly better. Dresed for the rest of the night which helped. The point is if you were to say that the femme side is as important as it appeasr then ignoring it is not healthy. That would also suggest need to take more drastic measures to be happy.  OKI have ran, exercised, dieted, pierced and tatooed but never really thought it was totally serious, that possibly may be wrong.

A Quick Dip

Actually dressed and did some pics today. Not many as felt needed to stop, not for any strange reason. Well the makeup went on easily and the pics ere easy but the flash when I looked later on the laptop they were out of focus. Ahah, the shutter speed was too slow, the flsh was no syncronising, super. Few could be saved and are not too bad. The body is looking OK really but the face is old. Good to dress and really do need to do more soon.
The odds are that autumn 2015 may not happen. Tooe arly to say but its possible. Lets see how the next couple of weeks go. Sapphire is in several places; most noticably 2 big black bags. It will be a battle to find clothes for an extended shoot.  Then again there have been too few new clothes and the pics are a bit samey.  Be nice to get out again.

One More Lap

When at Falmer I went for a run dressed. Dep down I know I am a blonde with a ponytail and look slim and good. At home previously I tried to experiment with a ponytail and baseball cap, it wasnot successful. In the field I thought there would be very few people there so went for it. Tried for a ponytail with the long blonde wig and cap. Well it didnot work and later after the cap had become MIA I could not tie the hair in any way to keep it tidy. The breastform moved about too much on the crop top, it felt a bit of a mess and I was very glad very few people saw me. Then again the midriffe was on display so that was fun. Later I looked at a couple of phone pics I had taken  and it was eve worse. The hair was obviously a wig and the makeup did not work at all and the face was long a male.
Well you cannot keep a good girl down and later having done quite a bit of the Undercliffe walk went for it en femme. It came out at 9.5 miles, on a very hot day, took 3 litre MTP Camelbak. Very hard going. Used the hooded top bought previously and the Sweaty Betty legings. It deeply suspect I needed the size down but they were not in the sale. At a reduction down to £21 from say £70 they were a bargain but it would have been so much nicer if I could have got a smaller pair. Deep down I suspectwhat really annoyed the sales girl, not really woman, was I was so thin, "you are quite narrow." she said. If I had got into the changing room and seen them as slightly too large would I still have bought them? Probably, tag hag I am. The run was very demanding, far too hot the run back was better and cooler found the walk path better than the cycle path, OK didnot know it was a cycle path then. It was one of those thoughts that warmd the femme me for months, actually doing a quite long run dressed. Possibly like being on the tube, it was doing normal things. So the mental image of say a taller Gwyneth Paltrow which I so am was replaced by reality. Basically the face is not feminine, it looks OK in a few set pics but normally its too long, the chin too prominent and too many male wrinkles. Then again nobody pointed or was nasty so that was something.
I rather suspect it would take a massive amount for me to stop going out dressed. That is a massive turnaround from the wobble at the madhatter in February.

Bit Of History

Its 1978, you are 15 but look possibly 18 you want a pornographic magazine, of course you do  here do you go? Well there was a shop on the corner in Sunderland, buy broadsheet and mag put mag in broadsheet, job done. There was a shop in Hylton road had one of those revolving stacks, go there. Something slightly "harder" there was the "Speedy book shop" asecond hand book sho which ad an inner sanctum selling wrapped magazines so you could not see what you were buying. Strange shop, probaly known to the police and sold not terribly hard cpre stuff. There was a shop across the Wear where you could get say Whitehouse, bit of a trek and expensive. Sex shops, well expensive,very expensive, and again you could get say Radox or some other mag which might show actual penetration. Comments in 3 languages. There you have it. All terribly expensive and a ripoff to be fair. Remember a mag which seemed to have a stream of conscious sentence of Scandanivain wors which included Hasselblad. The ITV show "Budgie" had a man buying porn and Mr Kendle, Iain Cuthbertson, and the general sense that only those with mental health issues bought such material. In Brighton  there was a newsagents which worked; middle of nowhere, could monitor when nobody was going in or out. When left for University remember disposing of my stash of mags in a bin at the Civic Centre, probably seeing about my grant. It was wrapped in plastic bags and lived under my bed.

still Picking At The Scab

More Brighton summer 2015.It feels as if it was so quick and so many targets not hit. This is slightly odd as there was no battle over getting meals or drink, no bad laundette experience. Travelling was not really a battle. No issues with the kitchen or I suppose road noise. Yet somehow earlier years with more issues which were shorter do seen to have stuck in the memory more. Possibly now it is easy to go out dressed in Brighton it is no big deal, even the day in London has not been seen as a big thing. The day in Liverpool last November was seen as a real result but London which was just as much a big thing seems to hardly be noteworthy. The bladder too out a day the rain took out at least 1. Also Pride was not the big thing it was hoped for.
Still do not know why did not do the Ghost Walk or go on the Pier or Hove Museum or lie down on the shingle. There was no single sit down and enjoy the now moment.
Perhaps its a bit teflon, nothing new to stick in the memory. Argably it was a bit too early in the holiday, I needed more time to unwind to decompress before the holiday. Posssibly even the iron issue if it is shown to exist may be an issue. The bigger issue is that the wig felt wrong, I felt older, the makeup was a bit off. Add the issues with the feet and knees and bladder then it does rather take the gilt off the gingerbread.
Lets count the positives. There were no issues, not even in London. The epaderm for shaving and washing the face worked well. The long run. Saw a lot of Tgirls, did the walk again.  some better pics too. There are concerns about the camera but to an extent they may have been overblown.
Hopefully November will happen, if it does will see about a new wig. Better shoes or at least insoles. Its not a setback really but I do wonder if the February slip has not been quite removed from the system. Possibly its just being by myself for so many days.

OK its over summer 2015

Lets be realistic. A lot of  targets were hit; a day out in London, a long run, the long walk. Really a lot did work. Eating ANZAC biscuits and coffee at Taylor Street, being on a bendy bus in French camo and leggings, doing risque pics, getting out there. Because I did, dressed 7 days, though not all day. Got the blisters to prove it too. The trip to London, well that was the target and it was so easy, said hello to the blue whale, the tube held no fears. Sadly What Katie Did was closed and it took too long to find. The long run dressed, well, possibly if did it in winter it might have been easier and the wig might have stayed on. However Sweaty Betty leggings did sort of deliver. The short run dressed, well lets call it a test. The walk went better than expected too, slight sense of vulnerability as people passed, not sure where that came from.
OK cup half empty.  Monday the bladder battle, not good not good at all. Sunday it rained, saturday it rained. The feet were always there, the wig needed hair spray both known issues which had not been addressed. We can talk about the bar having been raised again and it has. Actually did the proper walk on the level, no issues at all. A lot worked but not everything.  The bladder, the makeup, fate. There is also a sense that I am going to accept that I do not pass and have to live with it. Be good to get the makeup sorted.