Well that went well

It isfriday night and I have been back 2 days. went away sunday and back wednesday. Manchester isindeed a nice distance away, not too far for it to be an awful journey and some nice scenaery toboot on the journey. Think we will pass over carrying too much as it appeared I did not but lets have a first post match interview. It feels good, surprisingly good.  I had probably wisely dampened down expectations but it exceeded them. The jeggings did the trick and the boots were very good, granted toes a bit off but not too much. Again, ideally the Goretex would hav ebeen replaced for something else and this remains an ongoing issue. Then there is the issue of the voice, I do try but really need to bite the bullet and DO SOMETHING about it. Shaving was a pain especially as the shaver chose that minute to die, makeup seemed to be OK if a bit much powder. Still not geting out till 10.10.15 which is not ideal really. It all went well, there was no major staring or Starbucks moments, OK got "mated" but that I prefer to believe was not badly meant. Food went well, cut down on the drink which was good. Slept better, it was a good quiet room. The knees were fine.
Now to the meat. The gurl was just there, simple as that. Put the maekup on, put the clothes on, packed the bag and bang do it. No doubt, no fear it was just there. Granted the contact lenses make everything so much more immediate and the thyroid makes me anxious but there were times, sitting in Starbucks with a coffee, walking back to the room with bags when it just WAS. Partly  I was a gurl with a plan, a Pevsner in the bag and a license to shoot pics so I was on the go or at least when I wanted to be.  The new phone with Internet and camera helped too. On the last day had a "oh no tomorrow back to normal moment" which was a shock.  The lingerie pics in the room went well, surprisingly well. Everybody was so polite, I smiled more and I prefer to believe, was a nicer person. Possibly more approciable. May have been people over compensating but even so. The train journeys were just train journeys, last time Liverpool was the moonshot, not now. It would have been nice to have met someone and chatted but that did not happen, sadly. Could hav ehandled another day but there we are.  There is a possibility of being off for a few weeks in a couple of months, may be something there to investigate.

Nearly In The Field

Every so often someting catches you up short.  Earlier today I happened on an animation of  male to female esx change operation, initially it was a bit "cross your legs time" but there was a bit where the groin looked female and I went "yes , thats for me" and was shocked how much I would be happy to lose my dangly bits. It did not feel a loss at all, odd really.
I just over a weks time I shall be in Manchester. The expectation is 2 days dressing and being out there. Sadly there will be no Imageworks which burns, but there should be lots of good stuff.  Ideally I would find a new coat and top but that is now unlikely, a fleece would probably do though would like a trench coat. Concerned about keeping warm and the knees. Also the wig. Go witht he thermal leggings and the boots, socks and some type of insole. Sadly no dress or skirt really expected. May take some lingerie for the room and possiblya meet but thats unlikely to put it politely.
Remember whe coming back from Brighton in probably 2012 first class seat, thinking wow things have changed and wondering how things would be now as I had been out dressed every day for over a week, well not much is the answer. OK possibly thats a bit harsh as I can now say going out in Manchester without a second though, well not much of a thought. There will be a battle to get ready and out in the morning, looking for clothes, cosmetics etc, bath bombs, rubbish on tele, train  journeys and hopefully not bladder issues or hangovers or unpleasantness at Manchester stations or Starbucks. Sadly there is unlikely to be meetimg other gurls, buying clothes or much chatting. Still once Brighton was a big thing dressing on the evening eating cheese, smoked Bavarian, and pasta and a having a bottle of wine. Not passing the door.
If I am being kind would say its the thyroid knocking things down but that may be simplistic. There is the possibility of something on Mothers day which would be good, possibly do a belated new Years Eve.

Actually Dressed!

Well the day alone has fianlly arrived and I am finally dressed.  Its 16;44 there will beno pics or makeup. However it is totally working, not the cold watr on stomach feeling but something pretty good. The boots are not too bad and should hopefully stetch, found a rather impressive bra too.Completely covers the breast forms so a result.  Earlier today I had a bath and removed rather a lot of body hair Especialy the arms and hands, left enough toshow but quite abit went. The cold is still there but do feel Manchestr could go rather well now. There are rather too many resonances shall we say to waking up in Liverpool to allow that but possibly next time if the right accommodation can be found. Each time I wonder where I am I dress and it feels natural, not sure where we are. The thyroid is clouding a lot. In April may see whether laser can do anthing but suspect its too late for me. Should have looked into it earlier.  Its the lift, the mirrors to give illusion of greater size you look at yourself, the skin is not good. Still we shall see.

Storm Warning

Well J has definately broken up with ther boyfriend  This is bad news all round, especially for her but the girl now cannot rely on a few night s a week free or the posiblility of the odd weekend. March will not happen. To compound this K is away at Uni (as they say) so no escape there either. Granted the thyroid sems to have knocked the girl back a bit but even so it starts to feel like a much dryer place. This is not good. Started the year with a bad New Years Eve, really looking forward to it and it had almost become a tradition.
There was also a sense of where I am going with being Trans, OK accepted it, go out on the holidays but also the slight sense its not as big as used to be. Well possibly, lets see what Manchester does and delivers. There is a voice app need to take a look at. It is not guaranteed summer 2016 will be Brighton. Once the thyroid is sorted things will be clearer. On the plus sid the weight is probably just below 12 st so that is something!

Well Its A Go, Sortish

Well Spring 2016 has been booked. Sunday to wednesday two effective days. Sadly the cost of a wednesday would have put the cost too high. No dressing service, no longer there, feel bad about that. Its rather taken the wind out of my sails. Two days of going out dressed, probably Manchester and Liverpool. Possibly even Sunday night but thats less certain. Three days wouldhav ebeen nier but a certain sense that not upto it. The thought ofbeing in a hotel room just does not excite me, curiosly being in Brighton does. Manchester just doesnot really do it for me. Canal street well not a big thing in my one experience. Possibly if hadsorted things out earlier might have got 4 days. Not extatic about the train either. Brighton would have been just too far. Itsbeen a poor time for the girl recently starting with a very limited Xmas, Nw Years Eve was a wash out. Sadly it looks as if there is going to be more of that. Ned a new coat ideally, sense of museums coming into my mind. Be nice to see the Williamson tunnels, The Palm House, The Philarmonic. Worried about the time spent getting ready to go out, that puts a cramp on things. Could do with a new wig, yes well.

Pevsner On Standby

Managed to dress for a few hours on thursday night, no makeup or pics but was surprisingly happy on friday. May or may not be connected.
After a false start managed to get holidays approved. Finally decided to go to dressing service. Really perked me up must say. Then a little bit of Googling found the bad nes it had been almost literally washed away and would not be restarting, gutted.  Should have gone in Nov when had chance. Feel sorry for girl who ran it, wonder what she will do next.  So there is still the week off, probably down to manchester on sunday, back thursday, so thats £200 for accommodation. What to do? Well go out dressed, say Liverpool one day last go at Palm House, a day in Manchester but that is less certain then some time in Preston but, again nothing is definite. Toyed with staying in Liverpool but thats not really a good idea. Need to sort out shoes, possibly boots, not sure about coat, probably white cagoule again. Will do an entry on the dressing service later sad business.

Not A Great Start To The Year

Well New Years Eve didnot happen, surprisingly badly gutted by it. Very surprised by how badly annoyed by it I was. However lets move on to 2016. With a bit of luck there will be a chance to dress in about 3 weeks time, with an interesting possibility in early March, if it still happens. To be honest really could do with a chance to dress.  Sorted out storage, well sort of and need to spend some time putting things into the proper boxes as I can now do. There may be the option of even using a small room as a studio, suspect it will be too small but its possible and certainly would be very useful.
Going to have a holiday in February which will involve dressing, probably Manchester, perhaps even Alison. Perhaps not. Need to see where the finances are.
The thyroid has put any thoughts of hormones on hold. Well that had probably gone anyway but even so. There has been reoorts on the Internet about a minor celebrity detransitioning. I suspect the problem, not in this case necessarily, is people are binary about Trans, its either all or nothing. Whereas it is a sliding scale where all positions are valid. Personally I would like to go full time but coild probably go with being femme rather a lot more than I am at the moment. Possibly but I do get the sense of time and the opportunity slipping through my fingers somehow. After all still have not started work on the voice.