Shaved my legs today, feel it even now, lovely. The point is for the last 2 weeks I have been doing a lot of pilates leg work mostly and after the deforestation looked in the mirror and saw that it was good. Not a massive difference but ertainly more toned and a better look. We shall have to see whether it continues. The abdomen looks better too, sadly there is still weight to lose but that may have to wait till the thyroid is resolved. All in allits good news. Soon will be wearing shorst running so will get a slight tan too which will help. If the neice does goes sunday after next then there might, just might, be the possibility of some new pics. Came within a whisker of liberating the other flash yesterday, might yet happen. Be good to just dress yet alone really go for it.
Put in a bid for some stripper sandals from A~~~~~~ studio which got trashed by the flood. Would have liked the white booties which a rather wonderful gurl wore for some pics which left quite an impression but where probably too small. Where they would be sent to if I were to win then is anybodies quess but even so its an idea.
Moving on there is the question regarding holiday 2016. I keep going back to the bendy bus going back to Falmer, not uncomfortable but even so something awry. Its cheap and cheerful, there is the walk a lot does still work. Its a tricky one.
Saturday, 2 April 2016
Friday, 25 March 2016
Trying Ones Best
OK lets take a load of pics, dressed, say 200plus, out of that number ignoring duplicates, technically unacceptable pics and ones with clothes or wig out of place there are a worrying few. These pics taken wehn dashing in heels to pose or when counted number of shots wrong can show a not very flattering image which is unmistakably masculine. So side on my ribcage is too large or my chin ios too big or hands too large, well these pics will never make it to Photoshop.
Last summer tried twice to run dressed, the first time was dreadful, wig lets not go there, makeup a mess, sports top didnot contain the breast forms. Thesecond time learnt from these mistakes. Then when on SDW a woman looking for her mobile phone saw me in the distance and said I was a man. The ultimate point is even if I got a voice spot on, smaller hands and lost 8 inchs off my height I would still not pass. Not that ultimately that matters. This line of thought was started by seeing a gurl who I admire and who has done more than most to be feminine in a picture doing a run it was not close up and the big shoulders showed, it was a it depressing but we do our best. We do not pass but we try our best.
Last summer tried twice to run dressed, the first time was dreadful, wig lets not go there, makeup a mess, sports top didnot contain the breast forms. Thesecond time learnt from these mistakes. Then when on SDW a woman looking for her mobile phone saw me in the distance and said I was a man. The ultimate point is even if I got a voice spot on, smaller hands and lost 8 inchs off my height I would still not pass. Not that ultimately that matters. This line of thought was started by seeing a gurl who I admire and who has done more than most to be feminine in a picture doing a run it was not close up and the big shoulders showed, it was a it depressing but we do our best. We do not pass but we try our best.
Sunday, 20 March 2016
New Pics but old issues
Managed some pics today, not sure how long I would have and that took the shine off it. All in all it was a very stressful event and the pics initially looked OK. Bit of lens flare but OK. Sadly after converting them to .DNG and more examination they were a mix of out of focus and over exposed. Will be able to salvage some but yet again creeping disappointment again. The lens flare not sure why that happens it just seemed to appear several years ago. The focus issue comes and goes. The main problem is I need time to resolve these issues and get the new flash up and running consistantly. The second issue is the closeness and the area of the space where I can take pics. If I know I have time then can put up the parachute material and bounce flash. I could get a proper frame and background for about £30 to £40 and if was alone or had a whole week would try it. Having said all that the pics can be technically quite good sometimes just not enough.
The eyes look old and the mouth creases too, its all so very frustrating. Suppose in a way do feel better but yes well know where that one goes.
The new red Katmandu corset worked well and 26 inch was pretty well spot on, take that grumpy grey haired woman shop assistant. Was it worth £40, well possibly but do need to try the other corset too.
The eyes look old and the mouth creases too, its all so very frustrating. Suppose in a way do feel better but yes well know where that one goes.
The new red Katmandu corset worked well and 26 inch was pretty well spot on, take that grumpy grey haired woman shop assistant. Was it worth £40, well possibly but do need to try the other corset too.
Sunday, 13 March 2016
Back Again
Well the pic fest did not happen, again, again. Before I went to Manchester on the saturday hjitKatmandu, been told they were closing down. Scored 2 half price corsets, £40. One is a proper corset and the other wil be fine for pics, ideally would have gone a size up but will do for picsand possibly giving the piercer one. Some bizarre idea of a burlesque act which the pseudo corset will do fine for. Also got an active wear top and leggings which need trying on properly. To complete this got a £27 MAC foundation brush. Not totally sure why. Also have 2 American Apparel leotards on the way from Ebay, £20. Then again there is a MTP tank boiler suit which may be useful for pics.
There is a sense that not getting the time to dress and when do do not. Lets blame the thyroid. If it does get nuked half wondering about a few days away, if can afford it.
There is a sense that not getting the time to dress and when do do not. Lets blame the thyroid. If it does get nuked half wondering about a few days away, if can afford it.
Friday, 26 February 2016
Well that went well
It isfriday night and I have been back 2 days. went away sunday and back wednesday. Manchester isindeed a nice distance away, not too far for it to be an awful journey and some nice scenaery toboot on the journey. Think we will pass over carrying too much as it appeared I did not but lets have a first post match interview. It feels good, surprisingly good. I had probably wisely dampened down expectations but it exceeded them. The jeggings did the trick and the boots were very good, granted toes a bit off but not too much. Again, ideally the Goretex would hav ebeen replaced for something else and this remains an ongoing issue. Then there is the issue of the voice, I do try but really need to bite the bullet and DO SOMETHING about it. Shaving was a pain especially as the shaver chose that minute to die, makeup seemed to be OK if a bit much powder. Still not geting out till 10.10.15 which is not ideal really. It all went well, there was no major staring or Starbucks moments, OK got "mated" but that I prefer to believe was not badly meant. Food went well, cut down on the drink which was good. Slept better, it was a good quiet room. The knees were fine.
Now to the meat. The gurl was just there, simple as that. Put the maekup on, put the clothes on, packed the bag and bang do it. No doubt, no fear it was just there. Granted the contact lenses make everything so much more immediate and the thyroid makes me anxious but there were times, sitting in Starbucks with a coffee, walking back to the room with bags when it just WAS. Partly I was a gurl with a plan, a Pevsner in the bag and a license to shoot pics so I was on the go or at least when I wanted to be. The new phone with Internet and camera helped too. On the last day had a "oh no tomorrow back to normal moment" which was a shock. The lingerie pics in the room went well, surprisingly well. Everybody was so polite, I smiled more and I prefer to believe, was a nicer person. Possibly more approciable. May have been people over compensating but even so. The train journeys were just train journeys, last time Liverpool was the moonshot, not now. It would have been nice to have met someone and chatted but that did not happen, sadly. Could hav ehandled another day but there we are. There is a possibility of being off for a few weeks in a couple of months, may be something there to investigate.
Now to the meat. The gurl was just there, simple as that. Put the maekup on, put the clothes on, packed the bag and bang do it. No doubt, no fear it was just there. Granted the contact lenses make everything so much more immediate and the thyroid makes me anxious but there were times, sitting in Starbucks with a coffee, walking back to the room with bags when it just WAS. Partly I was a gurl with a plan, a Pevsner in the bag and a license to shoot pics so I was on the go or at least when I wanted to be. The new phone with Internet and camera helped too. On the last day had a "oh no tomorrow back to normal moment" which was a shock. The lingerie pics in the room went well, surprisingly well. Everybody was so polite, I smiled more and I prefer to believe, was a nicer person. Possibly more approciable. May have been people over compensating but even so. The train journeys were just train journeys, last time Liverpool was the moonshot, not now. It would have been nice to have met someone and chatted but that did not happen, sadly. Could hav ehandled another day but there we are. There is a possibility of being off for a few weeks in a couple of months, may be something there to investigate.
Saturday, 13 February 2016
Nearly In The Field
Every so often someting catches you up short. Earlier today I happened on an animation of male to female esx change operation, initially it was a bit "cross your legs time" but there was a bit where the groin looked female and I went "yes , thats for me" and was shocked how much I would be happy to lose my dangly bits. It did not feel a loss at all, odd really.
I just over a weks time I shall be in Manchester. The expectation is 2 days dressing and being out there. Sadly there will be no Imageworks which burns, but there should be lots of good stuff. Ideally I would find a new coat and top but that is now unlikely, a fleece would probably do though would like a trench coat. Concerned about keeping warm and the knees. Also the wig. Go witht he thermal leggings and the boots, socks and some type of insole. Sadly no dress or skirt really expected. May take some lingerie for the room and possiblya meet but thats unlikely to put it politely.
Remember whe coming back from Brighton in probably 2012 first class seat, thinking wow things have changed and wondering how things would be now as I had been out dressed every day for over a week, well not much is the answer. OK possibly thats a bit harsh as I can now say going out in Manchester without a second though, well not much of a thought. There will be a battle to get ready and out in the morning, looking for clothes, cosmetics etc, bath bombs, rubbish on tele, train journeys and hopefully not bladder issues or hangovers or unpleasantness at Manchester stations or Starbucks. Sadly there is unlikely to be meetimg other gurls, buying clothes or much chatting. Still once Brighton was a big thing dressing on the evening eating cheese, smoked Bavarian, and pasta and a having a bottle of wine. Not passing the door.
If I am being kind would say its the thyroid knocking things down but that may be simplistic. There is the possibility of something on Mothers day which would be good, possibly do a belated new Years Eve.
I just over a weks time I shall be in Manchester. The expectation is 2 days dressing and being out there. Sadly there will be no Imageworks which burns, but there should be lots of good stuff. Ideally I would find a new coat and top but that is now unlikely, a fleece would probably do though would like a trench coat. Concerned about keeping warm and the knees. Also the wig. Go witht he thermal leggings and the boots, socks and some type of insole. Sadly no dress or skirt really expected. May take some lingerie for the room and possiblya meet but thats unlikely to put it politely.
Remember whe coming back from Brighton in probably 2012 first class seat, thinking wow things have changed and wondering how things would be now as I had been out dressed every day for over a week, well not much is the answer. OK possibly thats a bit harsh as I can now say going out in Manchester without a second though, well not much of a thought. There will be a battle to get ready and out in the morning, looking for clothes, cosmetics etc, bath bombs, rubbish on tele, train journeys and hopefully not bladder issues or hangovers or unpleasantness at Manchester stations or Starbucks. Sadly there is unlikely to be meetimg other gurls, buying clothes or much chatting. Still once Brighton was a big thing dressing on the evening eating cheese, smoked Bavarian, and pasta and a having a bottle of wine. Not passing the door.
If I am being kind would say its the thyroid knocking things down but that may be simplistic. There is the possibility of something on Mothers day which would be good, possibly do a belated new Years Eve.
Sunday, 7 February 2016
Actually Dressed!
Well the day alone has fianlly arrived and I am finally dressed. Its 16;44 there will beno pics or makeup. However it is totally working, not the cold watr on stomach feeling but something pretty good. The boots are not too bad and should hopefully stetch, found a rather impressive bra too.Completely covers the breast forms so a result. Earlier today I had a bath and removed rather a lot of body hair Especialy the arms and hands, left enough toshow but quite abit went. The cold is still there but do feel Manchestr could go rather well now. There are rather too many resonances shall we say to waking up in Liverpool to allow that but possibly next time if the right accommodation can be found. Each time I wonder where I am I dress and it feels natural, not sure where we are. The thyroid is clouding a lot. In April may see whether laser can do anthing but suspect its too late for me. Should have looked into it earlier. Its the lift, the mirrors to give illusion of greater size you look at yourself, the skin is not good. Still we shall see.
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