Manchester, bit of a result.

OK then back from Manchester. first post for too long which probably says something. There was briefly an idea to do manchester en drab with no dressing. It was an idea which had some merit and was not followed up. I did cut back and only took 1 set of clothes really for going out in the day. There was a day in Manchester and a half day in Preston and a half day in Manchester dressed. No big wow moment but what which second small bag and the boots and insoles there was limited issues which most definately helped. Thr feet and knees stayed fine, the eyes not too much of an issue and even the wig went well. A last minute email to S about a possible meet didnot happen but it was not really ever high up on the radar anyway. Too much walking and getting lost. Need really need to get a new coat and some new tops, definately. The problem, and not for the first time, is that when it all works you think it might be possible to go further.
Three, four years ago I had a support group, was taking hormones and there was a sense that  there was a further place to go which was possible without "coming out" as they say. Perhaps there is but only recently has more dressing been possible, more pics and possibly the thyroid getting better though it is still off. There is no 5 year plan at all. There is a sense that this is as good as it is going to get.
Though it all went well there was an increasing sense that I do not look young and have to accept that and move on. Never going to pass and accept that and seem to have ground to a halt with the voice. Do need more and possibly a few occasions amonth todress and say 2 short holidays and a long holiday may be enough. We all want to look like a young girl but middle aged? Well thats the question.

Save For Tomorrow

First off, did a photosession yesterday.  It was the real proper experience, light boxes, garage, set up a set the whole enchalida. It startd going silly when the intervalometer played up rather a lot and that became an issue. It was the Madeline Smith/halloween picsso glad to get them done. With a bit of luck should also get a chance to do anothe rmore obviously jokey set later in the month. I suspected the laptop was filling up on the C drive but thought it reasonable to assume that isues would not appear with over 6 Gb of  space still free. Sadly it this I was wrong. The hard drive was whirring away a lot but ignored it until realised the issue.
Ended up dumping a lot of pics onto the external hard drive and freed up quite a lot of space.  Half way through the laptop and the external hard drive stoped talking to each other. It required a reboot and  10 mins for them to reconnect. For a brief period I did worry that I had managed to trash the equivalent of the FAT table on the external hard drive. That set me thinking about how much I actually needed and how much I could lose. Granted thats a silly question as you do not know what will become useful in the future and also you should be able to just dump it all onto the backup. My backup is an external hard drive but only 1 and thats not really good enough as todays brief scare showed. I have 2 old NAS boxes but need to spend real money on HDD to get them really working properly. At the very least I need another external hard drive.
Going back to the question regarding how much will be useful in the future? To be honest very few pics hav ebeen useful so far, there is anaawful lot of redundancy. Be sorry to lose some of the A D pics, the holiday pics too and some of my own work. The JL pics from the first session have sadly disappeared apart from a few important ones, which is depressing. I have an image of a future me looking at these pics for, sadly, i am on a downward spiral. If i were say 30 today i could expect a good 15-20 years before age would start to whither me. Ideally I could grow my own hair long and it would be a lovely auburn. OK too much thinking that way is just depressing but I am managing decline. slowing down the slowing down. Not going to get all Bladerunner "tears in the rain" but each time i look a a new set of pics i do wonder. It goes, of course it does, but there is a sense that one day it will not be enough to be thin and have good legs! There is a gg as they say on Flickr who once was clearly  a beauty and was happy to show it but today still likes the attention but the pics have spent perhaps too long in photoshop. That is not a place i would like to be. Of course we all believe that point is far away. Lets be positive I am still catching up for lost time.

Well that was progress

Just looked at the Flickr stream and saw the pic of me sunbathing on Hove shingle. Suppose there are so many things which just happen when on holiday but only now looked at the pic and thought wow. There I am in a one piece swim suit sunbathing on a towel showing a lot of skin just like a proper girl. More than that i had worn a sundress with a scoop back and cut to show alot of leg and walked there and just taken the dress off, in a ladylike way and lay there. showed legs and feet. Plam A was to wear a bikini but let down by the tucking, as it was did not stand up much as the tucking was still not ideal bit even so its a big thing really, granted the wig was a bit off and perhaps the makeup a bit tired and the flats should have been flipflops but all in all an absolute result. got to say did not look too bad, well from a distance.
There was half a plan a aspitation to do the same last year but even with the fun of changing into it underneath in a local pub did not find a suitable area ws comfortable to do it. however did this year.

Heavy Metal Again

Last night managed to put the 6 mm PA piercing in. The white area was looking quite small so decided it was worth a go. Still took say 20 mins and a bit of work but not as much as the 5 mm and there was no blood. So thats been done and its all good, odd twinge but thats to be expected. The aim is to go to 7 mm then see where we are. Put the 5 mm in March so really doing rather well. 6 mm does look like a proper size, happy with it. The issue is above 7 mm the hole requires surgery to heal, or so I have read. On the Internet so must be true.
Slight concern the piercings make tuckingharder. Have not dressed for quite soe time, possibly even 2 months, gulp. There was a possibility of today but that didnot happen, another window of opportuity should hopefully arise soon, ideally duing the half term holidays so I can borrow some props for some pics.                    Laptop being silly so will stop now.

In The Right Direction

Weighed myself this mornong, 11st 12 3/4.  Yesterday it was a pond more. This seems to hav ebeen my default weight for some time now. I am sot of in dieting mode, been cutting down but not the drink, started running again and so was hoping weight was going down. Sadly it has not. THe body looks reasonable so thats something.
The face has a slight jowly look to it. The hope was that as I reached target weight that would go, however now I do not expect that to happen, it has probaby been 3 years since below 11stone 7 lb  at the very least so not overly optomistic about what the face looks like when get there again.
Having said all that more of the weight is probably due to muscles so do not need to lose as much weight. The love handles are much smaller bt sort of still there, its al getting there.
The problem is this is the very hard bit. Last time it took so much effort to go from 12 st to 11 and a half, a lot of time, pilates and dieting.  All in all its getting better, slowly.

Hotel California

A Tgirl I have a lot of respect for has posted on Flickr that she has stopped and finished her dressing days. A lot of other girls, me included, have said best of luck for the future but one wrote"It aint over, I wish you the best of luck but..." The problem is I think she is actually correct and the girl cannot stop dressing. On another website a girl who has a lot of experience wrote that the only thing that was sure was once a  Tgirl allways a Tgirl.
Obviously we cannot know but deep down it feels as if the girl is just there now. I am not dressing much and the cold weather tends to put a dampner on it as well but I do not feel I could ever stop for good. Currently my arguement is that I was without the girl for so long and i never got romantically attached so its hardly likely to happen now which I am not sure is a good or a bad thing really. OK I do, its a bad thing.

Post Holiday Blues

The girl has started to ping again. Feel the need to dress, not a big surprise but after Summer 2017 it might have been nice if it had taken longer to resurface. During the holiday there was a day where Ididnot dress as they footfelt bad, it was a quick out of the door, no putting on makeup and clothes etc. If I were to go say fuller time I would have to factor in makeup as I could not go out without some makeup. The not doing laser sometimes begins to bite and it would have been good, certainly a close shave helps. Started epilating again and the smooth skin for longer certainly helps. I am probably 12 st going up and down a bit. Need to get back to losing weight mode, the running is kicking in and that will help. As will doing pilates again. Do not look too bad, lost at least half a stone, but more to go.
The next holiday is in  6 weeks time but may go sightly after duringterm time. Manchester or Leeds probably, not done Leeds but heard good things about it.
There was no real celebration of 10 years of the girl, nor any epiphany either, just moving on in a slow way. Lets blame the foot.Has to be said if still going after 10 yeasr then its here for good. There has been no major advance for a couple of years, partly due to the thyroid and home events but mainly due to the fact that all the easy stuff has been done. The hormone time was valuable but it was probably wise to stop when i did, granted hardly started but mentally it was quite strong.
During the holiay there was no real time to stop and consider where I am and how I had got there. OK there was but I didnot was too busy doing it I suppose. It is probably the case that there will not be significant change until significant change in my circumstances. There is a stronger chance than for 2 years that i can spend New Years Eve as the girl which would be good. Got a couple of links to ebay sites for a possible belly dancer burlesue costume which may come to fruitation.