Walking on the moon

Hope to spend 10 days in Brighton end of July start of August. Could be good for Sapphire, trip to Sweet Wednesdays, possibly Frockup friday.  Like to arrrange a meet with a girl I know down there.  Ideally a tranny party.  Ideally out in daylight would be nice too.  Might spend some time in Legends bar.  Trip to Boudoir less likely, Claire Project possibly too.  Perhaps this is the best bit.... anticipation.  Two years ago the thought of going to Transister kept me warm for months.  Really wanted to walk on shingle in tights.  That was a disappointment to say the least, but a real learning experience anyway.

They don't want your name

When Paige first "broke out" I started to diet and do some exercises.  I was 12 stone 3/4 ish.  Over time I got down to 12 stone but getting lower was real work but I got to 11 stone 2-4 LB, BMI 20.0.  Every so often I would dip briefly below 11 st but it never lasted.  The exercise became Pilates and I still do it now more so than ever. My waist went from 36 to 31  lower on other bits.Now I am 11 st 9 which and my waist is 32 inches, my BMI is 21.1.  My body fat is between 8 and 12 % depending on calcculation.  These are the numbers I live by and matter.  I am shoes iseze 7-8 female and clothes size 10-12. Not sure where I am going with this weight business but as a male I look slight and thin.  One final number 48, my age.  I can do nothing about that, it is starting to show on my face.  Others may be fat or untoned but unlined face.  Still lets make the best of things.

The way it is.

My posts seem to say that it is not a happy thing for me to be trans.  That I do not enjoyit.  This is wrong.  I want to do it right, properly so set the bar very high.  Also it is not optional anymore and I need to do it.  Just felt it necessary to put the record right on that one.

Better to travel hopefully..

Just reread my last post.  Possibly it sounds too harsh on Jodie.  If so not meant.Must be hard to day in day out to listen to Trannys with sob stories who expect more than is reasonable from great makeup and good clothes sense.  And that's it really.  How great is some MAC and Long Tall Sally.  How much magic can they weave?  I recently talked to a guy in a suit who said would dress but needed to lose 3 stones so did not.  Go to Flickr how many pics show tgurls who really could do with losing a bit of weight?  Don't get me wrong, I am not completely having a go at them.  Presumably the clothes are enough, which must be great.  I lost 1.5 stones and do a lot of pilates most days to keep me in shape. I am still not happy with my look. They get the effect they are after without that. Clothes are not enough.  I like catsuits and my Flickr stream is littered with my pics of this.  Someone is very polite and will post some flattering reference to Diana Rigg.  This is what she could do;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxSpTKE5Jno&feature=player_embedded

Wasting my time!!!

Paying for company

OK lets "unpack" a visit to the Boudoir dressing service.  Why go?  Basically because I have no Tgurl friends to talk to and swap experience to learn from.  Sad but true. It would have been the 6th visit.  For the last 5 I have wondered if I would return and have.  Finally did the going there dressed but not by tube.  Its £180, a lot but not too much.  Its something to look forward to in the cold dark months with limited dressing opportunities and that is worth a lot believe me.  I got the 20% off voucher for Trendco, got the choice of wig, got experience of MAC StudioSculpt concealer, may be a good thing.  Even more imprtantly calmed me down and said I was doing OK,could go out.  Will I go again?  Keep meaning to go else where.  Jodie can be a bit "perfunctuary" and going throught the motions, a second opinion would be good.  We shall see.  Ideally I would like to think I had outgrown them and developed more as a tgurl.

From Chuck Yeager to Alan Shepard

Last year I went to london and the Boudoir.  The plan was to go dressed.  9.30am there I was, dressed, madeup, the plan was to return in boy mode so had plastic bag with stuff, bag broke, gave me the excuse to abort it.  Probably having to do the tube frightened me too much.  This year diffeent room same plan.  Modification take a taxi, Jodie at new place closer.  Been out in Brighton so bit better.   Dressed, madeup, packed then... Phoned for a taxi.  Waited outside at 9.50am.  Taxi arrives 5 mins later.  Takes 10 mins.  Drops me outside Bethnal Green tube £12.  Walk around Bethnal Green ,  sit in park, people pass me I pass them.  At 1045 arrive at Boudoir.  OK she says "your are early, not ready yet"  but knocked on door dressed in lycra leggings, M and S Covent Garden top, flat shoes and little scarf.  Out in the world for say 35 mins, dressed, alone.  No sweat.  OK did not then go to Trendco dressed which would have involved the tube.  Oh yes, I took a "I was there" pic too. 

Atale of 2 tall girls

Last April I was in Brighton and saw a girl as tall as me.  Skinny jeans with a lot smaller girl, brown hair.  It was quite a shock and had to spend money in MAC to recover.  So that is what , at some very best, I could hope to look like.  Not a good moment I must say.  Rather a dent in my confidence.  Anway, fast forward to March 2011.  Durham.  Saw a really tall girl.  German ot Dutch or scandenavian.  Flip flops, small shorts, tee shirt, hair scrunched up.  Even taller.  Eventually got up to her in passing in the street, I only went up to her shoulder.  Now for the good bit.  Nobody took any notice of her, nobody pointed or even waited till she passed to stare at her.  So you could be that tall and ignored.  OK she looked as she was total girlbut still better news.  OK may not pass but nobody may care.  Like to beleive that one.