Keep calm and keep posing

Sometimes you go through a set of pics you have taken and see one which you just KNOW will be good. You put it through Photoshop, not long, just a few clicks, post it and very little else happens.  It is not picked up by many people and so there it sits.  I did a bunny girl set which I thought ticked all the boxes, wrong.  Been here before.  Expect to be liked by the Flickr elite and no joy  only get the pervs and loyal fans, thank you you know who you are.  Each year I wonder whether its worth contining with Flickr, each year I pony up the money.  Perhaps if I had outdoor pics with other gurls,,natural pics bt no I rely on skin and long legs.   Only one thing worse than being talked about and thats...Oh crap another downer post.  On the plus side, could allways start the leaving nice comments game rather than an English ideal of assuming the pic will sell its self.  perhaps there is a certain purity in that.

'ear, 'ear

Last saturday I got my ears pierced.Just the lobes.  Really wanted to wear hoops, bit slutty I know!  The new drees code said 2only ear piercings visible"  Green light then.  Nlo mention of gender( lets not go there) or, even more interestingly, the location od=f the piercing   The tragus piercing may be OK.  Granted not what they meant but we shall see.  People have noticed, not immediately but they do notice.  Couple of women surprisingly supportive, one male went on about his piercings in youth.  So have 2 microlabret studs, 1.2 mm by 9 mm 3.5 mm balls at a guess.  Not particularly painful very fleeting, less than navel!  One rather nice woman said "you have had your ears done" and showed a couple of piercings at tops of ear.  I said, quietly  " I have other piercings!"  "  lets leave it at that" she said not in a bad way.  On thursday realised it gave comfort.  The lobes are too small for ideal but it looks nice to me.  Another bit of female to carry around.  6 weeks time can put proper earrings in.  We sha  see. Blame the Buddha, he had pierced and strettched ears, look at the lobes. 

On the level

Back from Brighton and what have I done.  Well it was a Sapphire success.  Out on sunday lunchtime to see Rebecca at the Pier went for a coffee, Red Roaster, and a drink.  Stonking success that was.  Out single handed for several hoursd walked through the lanes back to Phoenix.  Absolute result.  Friday before night out with Stella.  Worried there may be sexual activity did not happen.  Sat ouitside Pheonix Halls for 20 mins. Drink, curry and disco at Legends, bit of a snog.  Good result.  Then friday makeover at MAC's followed by walking on Pier drink at legends, coffee at ex toilets place,  going to Long Tall Sally, back through lanes shopping at Sainsbury's. Waked on Brighton beach shingle in barefeet, painted toenails, meant to do that 2 years ago, did it then.  Ended by doing the walk on the levels did  2 years ago in the dark.. This time in daylight.Massive self confidence boost.  Not quite sure how going to cope at home after this but total result.  OK glass half empty time.  Monday, wednesday and thursday were booked so not available but more could have been done.  When will Sapphire be out next?  Need to squirrel away as much as possible.

Plumpet

Another pic but not mine but assuming not infringing any copyright.  If so I'l remove it if asked. deep down who am I?  Isobella Rosselini, Catherine Denerve or Carole Bouquet but being born in the 1960's I also have to say Kay Kendall.  I have am tall. her nose is the result of plastic surgery after an accident.  Here it is.  Love the 50's early 60's look, thin waist, hats, heels, lots of work on appearance.  Then I appreciate reality kicks in.  Cosmetics in the 50's must have been awful, no artificial fibres, what would nail varnish have been like?   Fish tail dresses, want to walk in one of those?  Kay Kendell playing the trumpet in Genevieve.  Do me.  Died at 33 of leukaemia in 1959. Even beautiful things must die, but later would be nice.

Life is not neat and perhaps one of the functions of art is to make it appear so, discuss.  Anyway, August 2009 I went to Transvision at Brighton.  Big, big thing it was.  It warmed me for months. first time out to a club, big expectations.  It was not a success and I ended up vomiting in my bed, not the famous victory i was after.  Picture 1, left.  I was already drunk when this pic was taken, smelling very sweaty, talked to no one,  felt bad about it all.  Lets call it my Dieppe moment.
Turn to pic 2.  1 and a half years later.  In a club, dressed there, very much in control of things.  Limited comparisions but this is real life.  Taken in a toilet again, bit thinner more experienced, same wig, sex acts had taken place.A couple of months before I had been in Brighton and dressed on2 evenings gone out to Legends, had drink,  chatted with Tgurls

Heisenberg Uncertaincy Principle

No dressing for 3 weeks now, not good really but not crawling up the walls as I have done!  The cold for the last week has helped but meant a potential window did not happen!  How much more would I like to dress, take pics, go out?  Well I do not know but if the Brighton evidence is anything to go by not every night but more frequently.  In the current environment it would require a very significant change for that to happen.  Having said that it might just which may be some comfort if it does occur.  So here's the nub of the matter.  What am I?  TS/TG something else, confused or just making the best of it?  What does the fact that it all kicked off in my 40's mean?  Does that suggest its not a deep, inner core part of me?   Will attempt to "push the envelope" more at Brighton.  The thing is when dressed I feel no different, it just feels usual.. Out going to Jodies was no sense of being odd, more worried about people's reactions than anything else.  This takes us to the drive which I do feel to dress  and go out.  There is something there,  deny it at your peril.  Back to the beginning again.



You cant get what you want Joe Jackson

Walking on the moon

Hope to spend 10 days in Brighton end of July start of August. Could be good for Sapphire, trip to Sweet Wednesdays, possibly Frockup friday.  Like to arrrange a meet with a girl I know down there.  Ideally a tranny party.  Ideally out in daylight would be nice too.  Might spend some time in Legends bar.  Trip to Boudoir less likely, Claire Project possibly too.  Perhaps this is the best bit.... anticipation.  Two years ago the thought of going to Transister kept me warm for months.  Really wanted to walk on shingle in tights.  That was a disappointment to say the least, but a real learning experience anyway.