Another Quick One

Managed to get in a very brief dressing session. Interupted half way through by guy from Amazon, it was 7 pm by now. Got out of lycra dress, wig, bra, breastforms and heels, put on boy stuff Sadly my feet showed my tights still on. Oh dear. Not a big deal, this has happened several times on holiday but not at home. No makeup or attempt to take pics. Fell calmer, definatly. Wore glasses seemed to go well with wig. The lycra PVC catsuit well, still looked slightly fat bit not too bad. Do need to sort out new wig, as ever voice too.
Need a proper session, makeup, pics, perhaps even some new clothes.  There should be at least a day in mid May, so that will help.  Lots of stuff about where we are going and starting hormones,again, again.
looking oler and really womdering where its all going if anywhere. Been saying things need to change but not sure however how this might happen.
The pilates has made a difference and do believe the stomach, and possibly the legs do look better.  I have a hope that I can take some South Downs bikini shots this year and they will look better. Hopefully new pics will look better, currently the waist is letting m down, there may be a time where it becomes necessary to accept a look as the best I am going toget or am prepared to work towards.

Quick fix

Well managed a quick dressing session today, quick being the operative word.  No contact lenses or makeup and not for long but even so it was a relative success, feel better.  I am at still 11st 11 lb which does not seem so bad, did some pilates this morning which is helping. The legs appear to be very muscular in heels not to bad. Missing MYBuyBox several things would like to buy! Like to try a burlesque strip, seen a couple of possible tutorial vids and have a look in my head. Then again the voice has hardly advanced in several years.
No reply from the mag which said tbey wanted to publish some pics. Not especially surprised, hope they do get published, vain tart I am. In the middle of May should get a 100% totally deffo chance to dress and take pics. The problem now is that have no new looks to do.
Been a couple of thoughts about trying the hormones again, not seriously but even so. The weather is more sunny so bit more "frisky"hormones would stop that, which would be good. Need to get body in shape for holidays as do have a few ideas for pics outdoors! This would require a new camera which would cost money and that is an issue at the moment.
Wondering about Summer 2015. Ideally spend some time in London and Manchester but also Trans Pride Brighton. Difficult from a logistic and financial position I realise. Just cannot really see having the money. Like to do Pink Punters but also Canal street on a saturday but how?  Brighton and London are easy enough but London to Manchester is a long journey.  Possibly Manchester and Liverpool in Oct/Nov and Brighton/London in the summer.  Last year the Pride event was very little to do with Trans, granted they were the week before.
Its 3 months away which gives me time to save some money!

Clothes Maketh The Woman

If you were to look at my Flickr stream you would see a lot of me , in several senses, in lingerie. This is OK as the pics are OK but not what I had hoped for. Ideally I would be wearing expensive suites and some such, lovely dresses and evening gowns, there would also be pics of me in clubs and restaurants. This is not my life as Sapphire.  Most of the time it is snatched evenings in leggings and a sweater but probably no makeup or afternoons taking pics. With a bit of  luck 3 times a year I get out and about. February and November are cold, August is, hopefully hot so more skin can be shown. Yet the pics tend to show leggings, flat shoes, a long tshirt I suppose it is and the cagoule and sweater. This I prefer to believe works and I sort of blend in. I could wear a skirt but long legs would perhaps be too obvious or, I wish, attract the wrong type of attention until they realise what they are looking at. There have been several occasions where it is entirely possible I have had several approving comments, ignoring feminist pleadings.
Would like a coat, ideally trench coat, that feels right somehow. There is a concern about flat shoes making my feet look too long but heels make me look even larger and even even taller. Brighton had a Long Tall Sally but its not there now. York would be closest.Did pop in a couple of times but nothing was both cheap enough and nice enough. Did half hope to get a girly parka last, hopefully, winter.

Ooops Numbers Do Matter

I have half heartedly started another diet. The love handles are a pain. If you maintain a deficit of 500  calories a day you will probably lose a pound a week. If you run for an hour you burn up 850 calories. So far so good. So 2 days a week I do just that. Before my run I may have a small cchocolate bar, 120 cal say and after the run a protein drink which, I have just discovered, is a wopping 750 cal. This efecrively wipes out the run, though there are other benefits to the run. So the sad fact is the 1 hour runs are potentially conterproductive from a weight loss point of view. A bit of a shock I must say and a rethink is required.

Not too shabby after all.

Well its 10 pm and I did actually manage to do a photoshoot.  The original plan was to start a lot earlier but inertia and something else, not sure what got in the way. Up at 8 and expected to be in front of the camera by 12.  Nope, it did not happen, actually had a bath at 12 ish.  Shaved most of my body which took a surprisingly long time but finally got going by 1 ish. Makeup went on OK and all in all went wellish. Felt quite disappointed when had to stop. looking at the pics well, yes, the face does look old, no getting away from that but the body is OK, could be thinner but not too bad. Usual battle finding clothes etc and that does need changing. Two packs of batteries failed, amazingly, fresh out of the wrapper. Suppose I could have gone on and done more but needed to do the boring housekeeping stuff.  Do feel better about things. Need to sort out a place to put clothes etc.  Next time will try to plan ahead a bit more.  Nice to use the Axford's corset and She Said bra. The Ann Summers suspender belt worked well too.
Its March now, 4 weeks ago I was at Brighton and something failed or I thought it did. Lets call it the Mad Hatter Moment. Feel better about it now. Do need a new wig though. The worrying thought is it could be August before I go out dressed again.Thats 5 months, oh dear. Thats not good at all.

Getting Back On The Horse

On sunday I should totally, absolutely, definately, get all day to dress and take pics. What this probably means is a huried session but there we go.  To be honest there is very little new clothes or things to wear.   It could be a bit of a battle finding things.  Need to sort out AA batteries for the flash, charge up the camera battery, ideally find some outfits. The backwash of Brighton still lingers and there is a sense that in some way I might have lost a cwertain somethng, also the face is looking older I feel. I am slowly groping towards a new older girl paradigm but it is still painful to think I will never look young. May hit Newcastle on saturday and will see if there is anything that catches my eye there.

Some good, some bad

Its saturday night now, been back 3 days and so what to say? Well there is not a sense of failure or enbarassment but not of success either. Still not quite sure what happened on tuesday.  Possibly the combination of a cold, bad nights sleep, a bad wig and being out of practise did not help. The knees felt bad too. If I could have cancelled I would. That there was no bad incidents perhaps says a lot. OK the important question, what was not needed on the trip? Well the white scarf and the red gloves straight off. Coiple of the nighties were not needed too. One of the pairs of leggings, possibly a couple of bras, 1 of the wigs thats probably about it. I would have made sure the batteries for the camera were charged too. What you do get is the sense of potential at Brighton.  If I had the money and time there were things I could have done. Then there is the makeup, ideally that needs a bit of a rethink, spend more time practising. As ever the voice requires much work. It was disappointing the number of times got "sirred" need to move the balance of probablity to female a bit more. Be nice to sort out the piercings too. Get the nails sorted out as well, possibly stickons.  A kinono would have helped too. A new coat would help. The knees being off and concerns over the running may have put a dampner on things.  I keep returning to this one as I do needto improve.