Storm Warning

Well J has definately broken up with ther boyfriend  This is bad news all round, especially for her but the girl now cannot rely on a few night s a week free or the posiblility of the odd weekend. March will not happen. To compound this K is away at Uni (as they say) so no escape there either. Granted the thyroid sems to have knocked the girl back a bit but even so it starts to feel like a much dryer place. This is not good. Started the year with a bad New Years Eve, really looking forward to it and it had almost become a tradition.
There was also a sense of where I am going with being Trans, OK accepted it, go out on the holidays but also the slight sense its not as big as used to be. Well possibly, lets see what Manchester does and delivers. There is a voice app need to take a look at. It is not guaranteed summer 2016 will be Brighton. Once the thyroid is sorted things will be clearer. On the plus sid the weight is probably just below 12 st so that is something!

Well Its A Go, Sortish

Well Spring 2016 has been booked. Sunday to wednesday two effective days. Sadly the cost of a wednesday would have put the cost too high. No dressing service, no longer there, feel bad about that. Its rather taken the wind out of my sails. Two days of going out dressed, probably Manchester and Liverpool. Possibly even Sunday night but thats less certain. Three days wouldhav ebeen nier but a certain sense that not upto it. The thought ofbeing in a hotel room just does not excite me, curiosly being in Brighton does. Manchester just doesnot really do it for me. Canal street well not a big thing in my one experience. Possibly if hadsorted things out earlier might have got 4 days. Not extatic about the train either. Brighton would have been just too far. Itsbeen a poor time for the girl recently starting with a very limited Xmas, Nw Years Eve was a wash out. Sadly it looks as if there is going to be more of that. Ned a new coat ideally, sense of museums coming into my mind. Be nice to see the Williamson tunnels, The Palm House, The Philarmonic. Worried about the time spent getting ready to go out, that puts a cramp on things. Could do with a new wig, yes well.

Pevsner On Standby

Managed to dress for a few hours on thursday night, no makeup or pics but was surprisingly happy on friday. May or may not be connected.
After a false start managed to get holidays approved. Finally decided to go to dressing service. Really perked me up must say. Then a little bit of Googling found the bad nes it had been almost literally washed away and would not be restarting, gutted.  Should have gone in Nov when had chance. Feel sorry for girl who ran it, wonder what she will do next.  So there is still the week off, probably down to manchester on sunday, back thursday, so thats £200 for accommodation. What to do? Well go out dressed, say Liverpool one day last go at Palm House, a day in Manchester but that is less certain then some time in Preston but, again nothing is definite. Toyed with staying in Liverpool but thats not really a good idea. Need to sort out shoes, possibly boots, not sure about coat, probably white cagoule again. Will do an entry on the dressing service later sad business.

Not A Great Start To The Year

Well New Years Eve didnot happen, surprisingly badly gutted by it. Very surprised by how badly annoyed by it I was. However lets move on to 2016. With a bit of luck there will be a chance to dress in about 3 weeks time, with an interesting possibility in early March, if it still happens. To be honest really could do with a chance to dress.  Sorted out storage, well sort of and need to spend some time putting things into the proper boxes as I can now do. There may be the option of even using a small room as a studio, suspect it will be too small but its possible and certainly would be very useful.
Going to have a holiday in February which will involve dressing, probably Manchester, perhaps even Alison. Perhaps not. Need to see where the finances are.
The thyroid has put any thoughts of hormones on hold. Well that had probably gone anyway but even so. There has been reoorts on the Internet about a minor celebrity detransitioning. I suspect the problem, not in this case necessarily, is people are binary about Trans, its either all or nothing. Whereas it is a sliding scale where all positions are valid. Personally I would like to go full time but coild probably go with being femme rather a lot more than I am at the moment. Possibly but I do get the sense of time and the opportunity slipping through my fingers somehow. After all still have not started work on the voice.

2015 on inspection better than first thought?

A throw away remark suggested that I might  not get New Years Eve alone, could change and hope it does but its a bad thought. Sadly, however, its been typical of this Xmas, there has been so little of the girl. Been surprisingly busy it has to be said tidying up.  Today I had a go at the chest of draws replacing the draws with plastic boxes. There is a lot of clothes etc and it wouldbe valuable to try to put them into some order and even get rid of some. Found the Playbuny outfit, always slightly too tight but got some nice pics from it. November didnot happen, it didnot happen in2013 either but even so.  Then again summer 2015 does not have the feeling of a success, removing bladder issues, rain and inappropiate running a lot did go right and it should be remembered more fondly.  Possibly the thyroid is to blame, casting its shadow over the second half, at least, of the year. I was published in a magazne again, which was nice. OK since we have started , what else? Did the walk dressed, did a run dressed, not a busy year for Flickr it has to be said.  Got a better flash system which can help. Put on a bit of weight cf thyroid. I does not feel a good year somehow. Did London dressed, how can I forget that, saw the blue whale, was on a tube.Several times, on trains too. Thats all positive things. Yet there is remains, not a success somehow. Love the new boobs. No advances on the voice. Did do Brighton Trans Pride, well sort of.
Face looking older, hands looking older.
So for 2016; promised myself a February holiday, ideally Manchester. Not sure Brighton for Summer 2016 either. At the moment feel a bit flat, later new things may appear. There are grounds for optimism it must be said, my confidence is quite good, I am not fat, I have been out and about and am happy to do so. Initially Transister was a moonshot, then doing the walk dressed, the Liverpool then London. Now that was a moonshot it has to be said. What would be a moonshot now? Perhaps that is part of the problem, as have said before, all the easy stuff has been done. So in a way 2015 was going to be difficult to follow after 2014 and so it has proved. Well possibly. There is a sense of optimism it has to be said, there always has been.

Gilding The Lily

Just before Xmas I went to Newcastle to buy presents for people, as it turned out I mostly bought me stuff but that is more a sign of the preparation andthings I had bought for othrs before. Honest.  Well I needed to go to Kiehl's and u heav lifting eye cream and midnight eye cream. There was also the posibility that I would get some midnght concentrate skin drops. As things went I dropped the first £50 easily enough and then the next £35 on the skin evening drops. Well actually the bill came to £95 which as £1 out so I ent back got it changed and a free sample of evening drops which might last quite a while. The point is do they work? OK you accept a something is needed but what and what diference can it make? I prefer to believe they do makea difference, certainly the cosmetics last for long enough so I do not leave feeling I have been robbed.
When I was younger I looked youngr than I was, even as far as 995 a friend said "you must know you look younger than your age."  Odd way of putting it but thank you, even as far as say 47 at The Boudoir when I said how old I was Jodie looked faintly impressed. Then something happened, not sure what and the eyes went lined, the nose and mouth creases appeared and the hair started to go white. I am still thin and believe that helps, shorter hair helps hide the white The makeup only accentuates it all. Several years ago the hnds started to look old and this has got slightly worse.
There is good news though, I am still thin and the legs are good, these all help. Note that there has been no mention of how I feel, my health or other aspects of getting older. Certainly the left kneegoing has been an alarm call  but that can be exergarated I currently believe. The eyes are not what they were either.
Its not been a good holiday for the girl, no dressing.  The niece has been in all the time, the sister has been working so not taking the neice to anywhere really. Its actually beginning to knaw a bit at me, hopefully New Years Eve will be OK. I have dodged some opportunities to dress but feeling the need now.

Well that could be nice.

Suddenly a rather delicious prospect of a wekend to myself has appeared.  True its in march but even so. If it does come off then beaucoup pics, prperly done, real dressing, less likely would be a visit to a club. We shall seeif itdoes happen but would be nice.  In past yeasr have had such weekends, close door on friday, leaving on monday morning, rollup rug, setup backcloth and go for it. It has also been valuable just dressing for extended period. bac in prehistory there was entire weeks but had to go to work so that was not so good but still not bad at all.  Another possible but less so is a few weeks off work, say go to Manchester yes well it might be cheaper in term time. Even that might well offer a good photo opportunity. There is going to have to be some rather deeper thoughts about WHERE I AM GOING  but lets wait till the nodule is not an issue.