Had a bit of an epiphany a couple of days ago. I either have late onset gender dysphoria, its allways been there but only expressing itself as dressing now, its some form of Aspergers (new idea but could be) or its something else again. OK I can definetly date dressing to my early 40's, couple of possible sightings in early 20's but thats it. If you go with the its allways been there theory then you could argue my social presentation has feminine elements from a very early date. Actually this would also fit in with the Aspergers theory. Its tricky and difficult to untangle. OK now for the good bit. It is fair to say I am where I am today, I do need to do it, do enjoy it and it fills a certain hole in my life. Granted it is expensive but cannot really say there are any negatives to it. Interestingly its had 4 years plus and is only stronger, its probably not going away. Probably not going to transition to be honest. So lets put the "where has it come from" theorising on hold in lieu of further information and just go for it, just let it happen and enjoy it. What I have done is basically removed the idea that only by knowing what it is caused by dictates how I act going forward in the future. Its saying, cue Joe Jackson, just "go for it." What has changed possibly is that the counselling has made me happy with what and where I am so I do not need to know the cause. Neat solution eh! OK it may well be revised in the light of new evidence but it has the feeling of "if it looks right it is right" to me.
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