Thursday, 20 September 2012
It is 5 weeks since Brighton 2012, get the teeshirt. Coming back on the train I was worried there would be issues readjusting. Perhaps as well hoping this would be a sign that Sapphire was genuine so there would be issues. Well first couple of weeks went well then things got a bit worse. Its not crawling up the walls but she is in m dreams more and there are "acid flash backs." Possibly if the support group had been on that would help but even so there is now an issue that I have shown I can do it and have done it and want to do it again. Hormones have raised their head again. Not a good sign. As ever what do I want? The answer is currently to be Sapphire not on holiday, notice what I did there?, would require a massive change in circumstances. However, how much do I want to be Sapphire bearing in mind soon I will be much less attractive. As it is, I am not a young girl but "middle aged" so time is running out. Hormones would be more risky, SRS more so, even if that was where I wanted to go. Possible first mention of SRS. Could be something in that. Transitioning at 60? Would the NHS go for that, would I?