Tuesday, 31 December 2013

Hitting the bocage again

For the third year running at 11. 58. m minutes - 2 the ships batteries stopped, they released the LST and at t = 0 the sound of stiletteos could be heard as the ramps descended on the beaches of  the new year and the Tgirls who had no particular choice in the matter but to move forward ran forward, makeup fixed to engage the new year and a hostile or at least indifferent public to secure MAC, shoe shops and bars in that order of minimum victory conditions.
Not sure about the panic I had today, may be justified, may be the estrofem talking but did do it.  As Big Ben sounded |I wore 4 inch heels, a nightie  and a kimono.  I also punched the air, having been, dressed, wearing makeup, posted pics to show it happened and ready to give 2014 a good kicking.  Hopefully February will be Brighton, need it badly.

Monday, 30 December 2013

Report Sheet for 2013

I suppose by rights  I should be doing this tomorrow but I might be busy or something else so I am starting it tonight.  2013 for Sapphire, good or bad? First off 2012 was a very good year and not just because the bar was set so low.  So in February we had Brighton, day at A*****s, good pics, 2 days in the freezing cold, the moment at the Signalman.  Interestingly it was the last visit to A*****s so sense of something there.  Moving on.  Did not realise April was trip to TB****.  That was a success and under certain conditions could be repeated.  Holiday 2013 has a sense of failure which is probably wrong. The room mainly, too few days, no dressing service, no sexual activity and the odd meeting with St**** and the taxi driver.  However it was 6 days solid dressing doing it 24 hours, the HIV/HepB test and there a few good things apart from the obvious usual things.  Sitting at St Peters eating lunch seems to stand out as does The Armoury.  Morrisons, Waitrose, University of Sussex, possibly the bar is higher now.  Moving on, no November holiday for financial reasons.  Weight, well went from 12 st 3 ib to 11, 2lb before moving quickly back up!  the running probably helps a lot. So leaving 2013 with a better body than started it, result.  Hormones, yes well, started, stopped, started, stopped, started.  Still no long term plan. 
Support group, well still useful but arguably less so.  If the new co support worker stays could be less good. 
The new camera, bad, bad, bad.  Not getting too many chances to dress and take pics.  Then again pics seem less important and curiously neither does dressing, its much more internal now.
Face looks older and there is a sense of moving on. Also a big sense my looks have gone and going to have to accept that and move on.  Not good that one, very bitter pill.
Suppose there is a sense things have to progress, to move forward but to what goal, what is the final aim?  I am prepared to give 2013 7.5 out of 10 tranny points.  In some ways it was good, in some ways it was treading water, in some ways it was less than 2012.  Perhaps, ultimatly, we have to say just being in the game is enough, to go out dressed is more than many get.  Yes thats a bit of a cop out really but there we are. 
OK 2014?  February should be, assuming other things do not intervene, Brighton again.  Holiday 2014, far away in time yes but needs some thinking about.  Not Legends, no way, possibly University of Brighton. OK lots of things there, we shall see.
So  as 2013 ebbs away lets cal it a conslodation year in which gains were secured and limited advances made.  Today I bought a Laura slouch bag from Fatface. Ideally wanted the Lohr Wolfram bag at £400 but that was not an option, Laura bag at £90, not an option either. Laura bag at £40, result.  So with the smell of leather in my nostrils and something to use in 2014 lets put our shoulders back, tits out, smile and walk forward to the future, there will be MAC, possibly Bobbi Box, definately shoes and Pinot Grigio.

Friday, 27 December 2013

Second go

Arguably this should be in other blog but as it involves genitals it is here.  For under 3 months last september I had a Prince Albert piercing which I loved but had to go as the foreskin was anchored down permantly.  Anyway today I went to the place which absolutely trashed my yin/yan tattoo and had it repierced.  So far it seems to be much better placed and, hopefully, will last. Also got some advice regarding the scrotal ladder.  The thing is the original piercer I had a lot of time for but there had been warning signs I suppose. Yet you do have to trust people.  Interestingly nearly didnot go.  The bowels started playing up and the IBS kicked in. Had a coffee and felt sufficiently better to go for it.  If all goes well it may be replaced with a curved bar.  We shall see.  Yet to have anerection and see whether the ring is sufficiently large.  Interetsingly a largish vien was noticed on the right side oft he frenulum which apparently is rare.  The foreskin used to be very tight and there is the tale of the false memory.  Not convinced about the ladybird tattoo but really need to get the guy to see it if it needs touching up.
This will probably be my last piercing, famous last words of course but unless do extreme genital or ears piercings we have reached a conclusion.
What else? Well could do with a dressing session.  The Xmas card was OK but nothing more. As ever doing something is bette than nothing but feel it could have been better.  The lips basically and the post processing.  Really need to nail the vintage lingerie properly.  New Years eve is still possible and it would be good for a third year running.  Do Durham, nice meat, cava, dress, possibly even a pic up at flickr, good way to start the new year.

Tuesday, 24 December 2013

Bit of carbon dating.

Transister was 2009, Lacies 1 was 2007. So Boudoir 1 was 2008. Nov 2011 was first 2 days out as Paige at Legends.  The first flight of the P1 was 2008.  Tranny party was first 2009.  Meeting at Hove place would have been summer 2011, probably that last date.

Just a quick one!  Transister was 2009, Lacies (1) was 2007.  Clare project 1 was 2009.  So the first time out, very briefly as paige, was probably 2008. 2008 would have been The Boudoir, February.  Met J---- in Transister 2009 , "seeing you on monday" she said.  Moving on 2011 November was Legends out for 2 days

There and back, there and back

If i run my hands through my hair it feels finer, probably due to the change in oil production. Certainly more emotional and nipples more sensitive.  The problem is its not like puberty, thee is no Boy into Man or in this case " Man into Woman leaflet to say to expect this.  OK there sort of is but it doesn ot have a set ending and has been induced by myself and I can stop it.  Puberty had no such option.  IF I were fulltime and under a GP or GIP then things would be different.  Lets say I up to 4mg per day, liver holds firm then good for 4 -5 months before some breast growth, possibly much longer. What then?  Stop, go back again?  Is this how it is going to be?  No answers but questions.
It is tuesday night.  Have not dressed since the Supprt group Xmas party 7 days ago.  Not good at all.Personally hope the new girl who is suppoed to be assistant in charge tones it down or goes away.  To brash and loud. 
New Years Eve is still looking probable.  No guarantees but possible.  Thats a good thing.   In previous years I had a La Sensa day where I could dress and possibly some pics.  may yet happen.  Not the black boxes, the tissue paper, the little pouch of scented granules.  Done very well so far in the last couple of months.  Possibly a quick look at Ann Summers if they have a sale. February is not yet definatly happening but had to make arrangements now.

Sunday, 15 December 2013

The bar keeps raising

Well the big day has been and almost gone and it was a failure.  Started late, had to go to Aldi, interesting chat on XHamster and then started with the christmas card pic.  The camera was a right pain.  Basically it would not fire as per the remote app on the  netbook.  Set 10 shots might get 4.  Standing there, posing, waiting for flash to fire.  OK battled through all that looked at pics, something wrong.  Copied to laptop, oh dear.  The yes, Aldi's Smoky eyes, did not work but the lips were awful.  Ruby Woo is a tricky colour but the shape was so off.  Tried to change it half way through with no joy.  Had to give up on pics. 
The camera, well, on the plus side the flare problem has been sorted but thats about it.  Need a lot of thought.  If there was a remote could burn off the pics but there is not.  May have to think about taking a hit and changing it.  Itas not good. OK there are other questions regarding the dressing and taking pics, this ignores bigger, strucrural questions. I get limited time to dress and its been a failure.  Cannot really sustain that on a longer term basis. 

Friday, 13 December 2013

Waiting, waiting waiting

Support group on thuesday.  New place bigger and nicer.  Better changing room.  Going to have a buffet next tuesday with a "bran tub."  That will be nice.  Not sure as ever what I get out of the meetings but in some way they do help.  Ideally would put some makeup on but never do.  Hope to do some pics on sunday, should get enough time to sort out the lens flare and nail the 60's lingerie.  The estrofem has kicked in an the erections have decreased, result.
Bought final tickets for Brighton Spring 2014.  Unless something really nasty happens it should go down.  Three days of dressing will be good and very necessary.  Little worried about the new boots being too tight.  Hopefully loosen up.  Also bit of grief over a brown leather tote bag.  Wolfram Lohr has one at £300, too expensive, saw one for £97 at FatFace.  Still to expensive but its become a sign of not going full time which is bugging me a bit.

Sunday, 8 December 2013

Flat Battery

For the third sunday running I have been able to dress and for the second week running the pics have failed and I have been able tosalvage something.  Last time it was lens flare, this time it was the batteries failing on the Sony flash.  Half suspected it migth happen but did niot believe all 3 sets of rechargable batteries would be flat!  Tried and failed to find other alkaline batteries.  Then tried to use mains flash but would not syncronise and finally called it a day.  Tried a smoky eye look but not really successful.  Also used the MAC StudioSculpt which seemed slightly dark.Next sunday is the big one, all day.  Must be up to speed for that. Not really sure what going to do, possibly better background, build a bit of a set, we shall see.  Ideally do a Xmas card. Hopefully not show too much skin in all the pics. 
Had too much to eat today having stopped the diet.  Getting slightly worried the february holidays may be a bit of a battle to get off.  Do need it though.  Decided against an evening at York, not really sure why.  New Years Eve will be the next big one, high hopes for that one.

Saturday, 7 December 2013

So far and no further

This morning I went on the scales.  11st 2,something it said.  OK I had been drinking and peeing so a diauretic effect and bit lower in weight but that was it. Granted later in the day it said 11 st 3 something but there was a sense that it was all over.  OK it was not just the first stage.  Can start having biscuits and other treats but do need to be sensitive to notgoing back to the old ways.  OK we are realistic that weight varies over the day and is not a constant. Also that the body today is more muscular and thinner so weight is only one metric in going with size.  So did I lose a stone, 14 lb?  Possibly but no guarantee.  last time I say I was 12 3/4 down to 11 st 2 lb but again question marks remain over the scales.  It took a lot longer but was not running or overly exercising but not taking the whey protein either.  Feel the cold a bit more and do feel more tired.  The weight was too high this time and hope to keep to 11 1/2 st. We shall see.  However it is a result od sorts even if basically wanted an excuse to stop.Lets be positive, it is a good thing.

Tuesday, 3 December 2013

The Old Question

OK the weight is definately reaching the conclusion of the journey.  probably originally 12 st 3 lb now 11 st 4.  Ideally like to say lost a stone, may yet happen.  Will bounce back up as ever but still not a bad loss. Certainly feel better.  There is a strange sense of feminity.  The rather flawed photoset from sunday showed a couple of pics which apart from big feet, big hands and wrinkles suggested female.  This leads to a little problem.  You know you can do it and have done it and want to do more.  Also you have a sense that time is passing and in a few years the look willl be gone.  Not good at all. However, how to progress?  I do not know but a definitew concern. There is also the possibility of more pics or at least dressing on this sunday.  Hopefully will attempt to sort out the killer lens flare.   
Had a twinge of concern february holidays might be blocked but hopefully not. 
Like to do something for Xmas but not sure what would be possible.
Got the red postcard saying my estrofem had arrived and could be picked up.  Four wheels, take to end of march at least. Again the question is where to go? Do not know but do keep going to the edge and wondering.

Was at other school and a kid goes "like your earrings."   Lots of stuff there but never take them out.  Do people treat me differently because of them?