Is It Me Your Looking For?

It is monday and I started my packing. I realised one reason why it was so difficult was the weight if expectation of the holiday. If i packed the wrong thing would i regeret it and would the holiday be wiped out by it.  Nonsense of course but there we are. I am going to big citioes anything i really need i can buy there.  Once my razor failed the screwthread competely went, i got a new, accpetable razor in half an hour so there is really not much to worry about. On wednesday I will take another look and discard stuff and do a trip to the town and buy things to help the holiday.  The trip down will require M and S G and T, Lush soap and shampoo bars, protein bars. Today i bought studiofix MAC foundation, surprised it was £23. There was probably enough in the bottle to last but not taking that risk. The local Debenhams has a MAC counter which rather spoilt the image.  It should be perfectly made up ladies in black with a bag of expensive MAC brushes strapped round them. Instead the bag looking back reminded me of an old bus conductors leather bag for change. Then again they were probably hoping for not the local chavs or sad lloking 50 plus men saying do you have this as i held out the offending empty bottle. Else where I would have been en femme and saying Look i am a subset of your target audience. Not the Newcastle franchise granted but else where. So say Brighton all those foreign elegent rich young girls could see me and think that is part of the exotica of Brighton, what a good story it will make for my friends.
Interestingly i was walking out looking at the MAC box and making sure it was the right NW number and a rather attractive woman with a pixie cut stopped me and said "is it me you are loking for? It is micheal?" she continued at my puzzled expression. I said no and hopefully looked polite and not slightly in a way to embarass her.  These things do no hapen to me. Granted deep down I know that these events are nothing but trivia but even so you wonder. Who is Michael? I had a sort of idea she saw me coming away from MAC holding a MAC box and she was a MAC employee about to go on to shift. Or some closet Tgirl waiting to meet an off duty MAC person. I shall never know but deep down know the answer is going to be very prosaic. For me life does not work like that.
In Brighton twice I have been in Legends and unexpected things have happened. Sadly too many times it has not. Thats the problem.I have written before about the girl walking up South over street with the clumping boots. Its the potential, there is a sense that it just might, it just might. Its 2017 and too amny times it just didnot. I accept  I have to make it happen in some way, add the energy of activation to the catalyst. Its not going to happen at my home town but it might in Brighton. How many times do you have to be disappointed to say lets move on, and not just for trans reasons?