Save For Tomorrow

First off, did a photosession yesterday.  It was the real proper experience, light boxes, garage, set up a set the whole enchalida. It startd going silly when the intervalometer played up rather a lot and that became an issue. It was the Madeline Smith/halloween picsso glad to get them done. With a bit of luck should also get a chance to do anothe rmore obviously jokey set later in the month. I suspected the laptop was filling up on the C drive but thought it reasonable to assume that isues would not appear with over 6 Gb of  space still free. Sadly it this I was wrong. The hard drive was whirring away a lot but ignored it until realised the issue.
Ended up dumping a lot of pics onto the external hard drive and freed up quite a lot of space.  Half way through the laptop and the external hard drive stoped talking to each other. It required a reboot and  10 mins for them to reconnect. For a brief period I did worry that I had managed to trash the equivalent of the FAT table on the external hard drive. That set me thinking about how much I actually needed and how much I could lose. Granted thats a silly question as you do not know what will become useful in the future and also you should be able to just dump it all onto the backup. My backup is an external hard drive but only 1 and thats not really good enough as todays brief scare showed. I have 2 old NAS boxes but need to spend real money on HDD to get them really working properly. At the very least I need another external hard drive.
Going back to the question regarding how much will be useful in the future? To be honest very few pics hav ebeen useful so far, there is anaawful lot of redundancy. Be sorry to lose some of the A D pics, the holiday pics too and some of my own work. The JL pics from the first session have sadly disappeared apart from a few important ones, which is depressing. I have an image of a future me looking at these pics for, sadly, i am on a downward spiral. If i were say 30 today i could expect a good 15-20 years before age would start to whither me. Ideally I could grow my own hair long and it would be a lovely auburn. OK too much thinking that way is just depressing but I am managing decline. slowing down the slowing down. Not going to get all Bladerunner "tears in the rain" but each time i look a a new set of pics i do wonder. It goes, of course it does, but there is a sense that one day it will not be enough to be thin and have good legs! There is a gg as they say on Flickr who once was clearly  a beauty and was happy to show it but today still likes the attention but the pics have spent perhaps too long in photoshop. That is not a place i would like to be. Of course we all believe that point is far away. Lets be positive I am still catching up for lost time.

Well that was progress

Just looked at the Flickr stream and saw the pic of me sunbathing on Hove shingle. Suppose there are so many things which just happen when on holiday but only now looked at the pic and thought wow. There I am in a one piece swim suit sunbathing on a towel showing a lot of skin just like a proper girl. More than that i had worn a sundress with a scoop back and cut to show alot of leg and walked there and just taken the dress off, in a ladylike way and lay there. showed legs and feet. Plam A was to wear a bikini but let down by the tucking, as it was did not stand up much as the tucking was still not ideal bit even so its a big thing really, granted the wig was a bit off and perhaps the makeup a bit tired and the flats should have been flipflops but all in all an absolute result. got to say did not look too bad, well from a distance.
There was half a plan a aspitation to do the same last year but even with the fun of changing into it underneath in a local pub did not find a suitable area ws comfortable to do it. however did this year.

Heavy Metal Again

Last night managed to put the 6 mm PA piercing in. The white area was looking quite small so decided it was worth a go. Still took say 20 mins and a bit of work but not as much as the 5 mm and there was no blood. So thats been done and its all good, odd twinge but thats to be expected. The aim is to go to 7 mm then see where we are. Put the 5 mm in March so really doing rather well. 6 mm does look like a proper size, happy with it. The issue is above 7 mm the hole requires surgery to heal, or so I have read. On the Internet so must be true.
Slight concern the piercings make tuckingharder. Have not dressed for quite soe time, possibly even 2 months, gulp. There was a possibility of today but that didnot happen, another window of opportuity should hopefully arise soon, ideally duing the half term holidays so I can borrow some props for some pics.                    Laptop being silly so will stop now.

In The Right Direction

Weighed myself this mornong, 11st 12 3/4.  Yesterday it was a pond more. This seems to hav ebeen my default weight for some time now. I am sot of in dieting mode, been cutting down but not the drink, started running again and so was hoping weight was going down. Sadly it has not. THe body looks reasonable so thats something.
The face has a slight jowly look to it. The hope was that as I reached target weight that would go, however now I do not expect that to happen, it has probaby been 3 years since below 11stone 7 lb  at the very least so not overly optomistic about what the face looks like when get there again.
Having said all that more of the weight is probably due to muscles so do not need to lose as much weight. The love handles are much smaller bt sort of still there, its al getting there.
The problem is this is the very hard bit. Last time it took so much effort to go from 12 st to 11 and a half, a lot of time, pilates and dieting.  All in all its getting better, slowly.

Hotel California

A Tgirl I have a lot of respect for has posted on Flickr that she has stopped and finished her dressing days. A lot of other girls, me included, have said best of luck for the future but one wrote"It aint over, I wish you the best of luck but..." The problem is I think she is actually correct and the girl cannot stop dressing. On another website a girl who has a lot of experience wrote that the only thing that was sure was once a  Tgirl allways a Tgirl.
Obviously we cannot know but deep down it feels as if the girl is just there now. I am not dressing much and the cold weather tends to put a dampner on it as well but I do not feel I could ever stop for good. Currently my arguement is that I was without the girl for so long and i never got romantically attached so its hardly likely to happen now which I am not sure is a good or a bad thing really. OK I do, its a bad thing.

Post Holiday Blues

The girl has started to ping again. Feel the need to dress, not a big surprise but after Summer 2017 it might have been nice if it had taken longer to resurface. During the holiday there was a day where Ididnot dress as they footfelt bad, it was a quick out of the door, no putting on makeup and clothes etc. If I were to go say fuller time I would have to factor in makeup as I could not go out without some makeup. The not doing laser sometimes begins to bite and it would have been good, certainly a close shave helps. Started epilating again and the smooth skin for longer certainly helps. I am probably 12 st going up and down a bit. Need to get back to losing weight mode, the running is kicking in and that will help. As will doing pilates again. Do not look too bad, lost at least half a stone, but more to go.
The next holiday is in  6 weeks time but may go sightly after duringterm time. Manchester or Leeds probably, not done Leeds but heard good things about it.
There was no real celebration of 10 years of the girl, nor any epiphany either, just moving on in a slow way. Lets blame the foot.Has to be said if still going after 10 yeasr then its here for good. There has been no major advance for a couple of years, partly due to the thyroid and home events but mainly due to the fact that all the easy stuff has been done. The hormone time was valuable but it was probably wise to stop when i did, granted hardly started but mentally it was quite strong.
During the holiay there was no real time to stop and consider where I am and how I had got there. OK there was but I didnot was too busy doing it I suppose. It is probably the case that there will not be significant change until significant change in my circumstances. There is a stronger chance than for 2 years that i can spend New Years Eve as the girl which would be good. Got a couple of links to ebay sites for a possible belly dancer burlesue costume which may come to fruitation.

Probably Better Than Expected

It is sunday afternoon and I am recovering from an optical migraine, it is over a week ago since I returned from the holiday, so how was it for you? Lets start with London. Two days inthe capital, tubes, museums, shops. The feet got trashed as did a couple of the toes, I was not used to walking such distances, a sorbathane sole would have helped, that long walk down the road to the room, the longer walk around after having found Stompie. Did museums, talked to people, not bad at all really. Brighton; well too much walking, bad toesa nd feet, only got better shoes too late. Still better than not having a holiday. No proper walk so not in the church, a compromise was reached which got some decent pics so thats OK.  There is the sauna, well a success, ideally would have enemed but time was not on my side. Possibly I do look old, prefer to believe the body is good and seeing others it is bu the face and hair are old, still hit all the targets there, a bit more intimacy would have been nice but did well. The Terence Higgins HIV test, syphilis and big bag of lube abd condoms was reasuring but ended up feeling a bit of a fraud, better safe than sorry and will investigate PrePip for next holiday, good to now clear. Spur of the moment thing but worth it. The weather didnot really help but the sundress was a definite success, the freedom and sense of airiness, just remember sunbloc next time. The beach in a swin suit, good, tucking not ideal would have preferred a bikini but that just didnot work. There is a sense that need to spend a bit longer initially and again into the day out on checking the presentation, relying too much on the "indness of strangers." The weight was better than it might have been but could have been better, but again it was the best I could do. There were definite "in the zone" moments quite a few to be fair but the foot let it down. The museum of Transology was a good moment too. Would like some new clothes, the sundress will become a staple, the new small crossover bag was a result too. White wine spritzer at Legends went fine too. It would have been nice to meet other gurls but understandably that didnot happen. Shame no cooridor pics but thats a small thing. Basically I was not physically fit enough for a long day and had to cut my cloth accordingly. An awful  lot did work and there is no real sense that much was missed, possibly Ghostwalk and pavilion. Ultimately there was only 5 days and I needed a rest at about 4 ish.  Thats OK. Brighton as ever went better than expected but probably not next year, well if the Pavilion is a possibility well possibly.