Portmanteau

Mentioned briefly needing a new bag. Bought one at Oxfam £9, DKNY stamped on it.  Slightly too small.  Had hoped for a Wolfram Lohr bag but they are too expensive, sadly.  Already the tides of time are moving the memories to new shapes.  Its looking a success.  In Waitrose with a bag, remembering to say "and yourself" when chatting to cashiers in Sainsburys and Morrisons.  Feeling embarassed my voice is not better. Thats the problem though. Say I got the voice spot on, not going to happen but move on, nobody was shocked when I spoke, "wow it is not a female after all."  Presumably they had "read me" already but were too polite.  Two possible things here.  Either it was not a big deal for them, preferred option, or else I had already advertised myself as male.  Several people I talked to were happy to go with "mate" in a friendly manner yet I was presenting as female.  Nobody was being nasty or anything so lets put it down to ignorance.  No big hangover yet.  Could have a good dressing session yesterday but worked in the garden instead.  The thought that I do not need to go fulltime is on the one hand a good thing but also a sense that I have, in some way, failed. Nonsense of course.  If anything its either that my mind will not allow the possibility or its clearly wrong.  It still hangs there that I am not really TS/TG and started too late.  Nonsense of course, hopefully.