An awful lot went wrong today, not in a massive scale but could have done without it. However at 7.30 this evening I was sitting on a w all at the level, dressed, and having a not very successful rollup. I had walked through Brighton Pride 2014, £5 wasted on one level butt hen again well worth seeing and perhaps I stood up to be counted in some way. Young folk were playing with balls, getting drunk and generally being happy, there were dogs enjoying themselves, ample flesh was on display and girls dressed in a way I wish I could. In the distance was the spirw of the church which added a nice atmosphere to things. I did get a sense of contentment and almost happiness, lets say peace. Which I had not had for quite some time. Lets say 6 years ago I sat on the levels but not quite same wall and counted down the time to go back to my room and get ready for Transister. That me would have been very pleasently surprised at what I have already done this week. Walking back went the hill a bit more, it was early evening, still warm, slightly fuzzy air, certainly felt very good. Took a coupleof selfies , looked wrinkled around the eyes, older. Not good but expected really. Do so wish could have made the TransPride last week.
Lets go back further several years but still at University of Brighton accomodation, lets call it. Thought experiment. If the same time travelling me could prevent the earlier me going to Lacies would the trans stuff have laid dormant? Lets say it did would I have been happier? Actually the answer could be yes but confused. So today out dressed felt slightly tired and bored BUT these are normal reactions to being in a normal condition. There it is. If I could sort out the shoes and the time taken to do makeup and the wig issue then , yes , Inwould go full time, if not try for transitionong.
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