Last night had the chance to dress.Interested in new breastforms see how they were. Well burgandy knitted top, leggings, mens panties and white tropical boot socks, not as bad as sounds. Wig, CK1. Well it all worked very well, had a few real moments. Yes the breastforms are probably too big but the larger silicon back works well. Not too bad or large. The point is that I dressed as I wanted to but not makeup and it worked. At least in my mind. This chimes in with the the last post, I want to be me, dressed femme but not totally. My face did look old it has to be said but it was a long day.Possibly I do not need to transition but be ME more often. Which may be quite a good thing ultimately.
There is a long underbust corset I would rather like, OK really badly want. £50 to you which is not a bad price really. However I would probably not use it much and it is somewhat duplicated. There it is. Going to be short of money so should really wait. Need to be careful with money. £50 would get 2 piercings be a good start for size 4 breastforms.
Sunday, 14 December 2014
Saturday, 13 December 2014
Mental Versus Financial Health
Sorted out Brighton Spring 2015. Februarya, 3 days OK 2 full, monday and tuesday. So whats the plan? Well there will be, hopefully, 2 runs, coffee at Taylor street and , possibly, Red Roaster, a general wander, might finally actually do the Pavilion, the traditional walk from Hove. even the Ghost Walk. It will be necessary to maintain the Tgirl equilibrium.
To be sordid lets talk money. Room £160, train tickets £70 and the tube as well. We shall ignore all the other expenses as thats all for fun. Of course the cost of not going is far higher to my mental health so thats OK.
This brings me on to a bigger question. From a purely monetary point of view its been quite expensive. Lets say 10 visits to dressing services at £250, all included, then 2 trips to Doreens at £300 a shot. Lacies must have had £400, other clothing well £400 but that is a very conservative estimate. We could add in the camera equipment; £700 for cameras, £150 for flash, say £50 for rest. All these figures are very conservative because really they pale into insignificance to the cost to my mental health if I did not do these things.
The breast forms are slightly too big but do like them, for £65 its not an issue.
Did a stupid test and got the following result;
You are Transfeminine! Assigned a male sexual identity at birth, you now identify as a female at the core. Like a Transmasculine, you may not always conform 100% as a female or continue to do so all the time, but you do prefer to represent yourself physically and behaviorally as a female due to the internal connection you feel to your feminine side. In relation to other genders, you're just being yourself; and a person has to be able to express their gender identity through the way they see fit. For you this may be through fashion trends, interests and a more feminine thought process. Regardless, no one can or should tell you the "right" way to be a female!
Granted did not get the chance to see the other answers but as with the discredited COGNITA test there is a sense of not transitioning but going a bit further and presenting as female more often. That has a lot of resonance for me must say. Currently wearing leggings, bra, breastforms, top wig. Getting definite twinges of things
To be sordid lets talk money. Room £160, train tickets £70 and the tube as well. We shall ignore all the other expenses as thats all for fun. Of course the cost of not going is far higher to my mental health so thats OK.
This brings me on to a bigger question. From a purely monetary point of view its been quite expensive. Lets say 10 visits to dressing services at £250, all included, then 2 trips to Doreens at £300 a shot. Lacies must have had £400, other clothing well £400 but that is a very conservative estimate. We could add in the camera equipment; £700 for cameras, £150 for flash, say £50 for rest. All these figures are very conservative because really they pale into insignificance to the cost to my mental health if I did not do these things.
The breast forms are slightly too big but do like them, for £65 its not an issue.
Did a stupid test and got the following result;
You are Transfeminine! Assigned a male sexual identity at birth, you now identify as a female at the core. Like a Transmasculine, you may not always conform 100% as a female or continue to do so all the time, but you do prefer to represent yourself physically and behaviorally as a female due to the internal connection you feel to your feminine side. In relation to other genders, you're just being yourself; and a person has to be able to express their gender identity through the way they see fit. For you this may be through fashion trends, interests and a more feminine thought process. Regardless, no one can or should tell you the "right" way to be a female!
Granted did not get the chance to see the other answers but as with the discredited COGNITA test there is a sense of not transitioning but going a bit further and presenting as female more often. That has a lot of resonance for me must say. Currently wearing leggings, bra, breastforms, top wig. Getting definite twinges of things
Friday, 5 December 2014
One Step Back
Got to the end of a wheel of estrofem and stopped. Three days so far. Not sure why. The IBS has been bad and not happy with the arthritis. Still got 2 wheels so can restart if the situation changes. Sadly the libido did not go down much but the sense of worry and paranoria did.
Should really have started on sorting out next februaries holday. Oddlt no real hurry to do so. Could go for few days in London even or Manchester make it April not february. Have not had a proper dressing session since the pics several weeks ago. Could do with one. There is the possibility that New Years Eve may have to be scrubbed but that remains to be seen. Need to do the Xmas 2014 card. Could recycle the outfit but would like to get a new one.
Potentially Xmas could be a lot of dressing but equally could be a damp squib.
Not really coming together. Do like the thought of London dressed. Saying hello to the Blue whale. Lots of stuff there. be good to use the new breast forms, in the field. In several past years managed a Le Senza day where bought new lingerie and tried it on over the Xmas period. Would get the assistant to package it up as a gift wrap. Now do not need such subtrifuge but Le Senza gone. Possible M and S but the diet well its not happening and not too ahppy with the body. Also the voice, keep thinking need to do something about the voice but it never happens.
There is a sense that this is as good as it is going to get. This also begs the question, what more do I actually want? Well more would be nice.Do miss the support group, not massively but even so.
Should really have started on sorting out next februaries holday. Oddlt no real hurry to do so. Could go for few days in London even or Manchester make it April not february. Have not had a proper dressing session since the pics several weeks ago. Could do with one. There is the possibility that New Years Eve may have to be scrubbed but that remains to be seen. Need to do the Xmas 2014 card. Could recycle the outfit but would like to get a new one.
Potentially Xmas could be a lot of dressing but equally could be a damp squib.
Not really coming together. Do like the thought of London dressed. Saying hello to the Blue whale. Lots of stuff there. be good to use the new breast forms, in the field. In several past years managed a Le Senza day where bought new lingerie and tried it on over the Xmas period. Would get the assistant to package it up as a gift wrap. Now do not need such subtrifuge but Le Senza gone. Possible M and S but the diet well its not happening and not too ahppy with the body. Also the voice, keep thinking need to do something about the voice but it never happens.
There is a sense that this is as good as it is going to get. This also begs the question, what more do I actually want? Well more would be nice.Do miss the support group, not massively but even so.
Saturday, 22 November 2014
Some good news
Well the new breast forms have arrived, and very nice they are too. Arguably a size 6 makes me a D if not DD which is probably too much but we shall see about that one later. They are much fuller and developed than the older breastforms, some silly cheap price from Doreens, so feel positive about them. They come in left and right which is nice too.
The "shoot" last sunday was an absolute mess; could not find intervalomemeter, it just failed to gel.. Some nice pics so all is not lost. The big issue is that have no nice clothes or wig to display so no new pics really.
The "shoot" last sunday was an absolute mess; could not find intervalomemeter, it just failed to gel.. Some nice pics so all is not lost. The big issue is that have no nice clothes or wig to display so no new pics really.
Monday, 10 November 2014
Another short one
Well a week in and where are we? Actually not bad, confidence is a lot higher. It may have bee expensive but it was well worth it. Next weekend hope to be able to be alone all weekend. There should be pics but what of, there is nothing new to really wear. Not especially happy recycling old looks. The sheer body has gone down well on Flickr. Starting to think about doing Durham dressed sometime. Probably have to change somewhere. Early days but something to ponder about. Possibly in the car.
Sunday, 2 November 2014
Took ages to write this post
Sunday morning now. Unpacked rucksack and went for a run last night. There is a small pile of clothes etc to be sorted out, a small bag of clothes, male and female, to be washed. There is the cost of the thing to sort out. However lets have another think about things. Really must get insoles for flat shoes, do feel it. Also not entirely happy walking so fast about the place, especially Liverpool. Do need to get a new outfit though the current one is fine. The walking around bit gets me down a bit too. Must get good maps, not be afraid to get out glasses with contact lenses and find out where I am. Also refreshing makeup, really need to start doing that brushing hair more often. The voice, well nothing new there. Specific issues now. Shame did not make the Palm House, is not to be. Did not make Canal Street either, wednesday or saturday apparently are the nights to go.
The big problem seemed to be navigation. Lets take that out of the mix then. Bury and Manchester thursday out all day, public transport, no issues. Will do dressing service in other post.
Liverpool was allways seem as a big target, now suspect that was a mistake as it went well and again , no problems. Lots of public transport, just left to it.
So probably awake once or twice during the night. Then finally at 5.55am. May or may not get over again. Up at 7.30am. Bath, yay. Close shave, opps careful. Breakfast down by 8 8.15. Say back in room by 8.50. Put on makeup say 30 mins, clothes and general stuff means that 10.00am is the usual off time. Thats not ideal but it does work and thats the main thing. actually eating breakfast in a wig is a bit of a battle. Say get back by 8.45 pm. Remove contact lenses, makeup, run bath with bathbomb. 1 or 2 cans of M and S G and T extra dry, 2 units. Moisturise and eat meal with another 2 cans. Hopefully writeup journal. Music probably DAB radio Absolute 80's or Absolute Classic Rock going to Classic FM during the night. It seems to work. No really bad hangover, do not feel tired the next day. During the summer there tended to be a back at 5 pm remove makeup, bit of a sleep and up at 7 pm for a couple of hours, possibly having food outside; KFC or MacDonalds, 3 bottles of beer back in room, possibly a white wine spritzer in a bar. Going back even earlier bottle of white wine lots of Walkmab music, The Monkees comes to mind.
Premier Inn or equivalent seems to work. For Summer 2015, gosh already, will try for U of S.
Gone slightly off topic but worth hearing. Bizarrely walking on the stones remains of the railings at Sefton Park, Goretex off, with flats seems to be the big initial take home event. That and the Phiharmonic Pub.
The big problem seemed to be navigation. Lets take that out of the mix then. Bury and Manchester thursday out all day, public transport, no issues. Will do dressing service in other post.
Liverpool was allways seem as a big target, now suspect that was a mistake as it went well and again , no problems. Lots of public transport, just left to it.
So probably awake once or twice during the night. Then finally at 5.55am. May or may not get over again. Up at 7.30am. Bath, yay. Close shave, opps careful. Breakfast down by 8 8.15. Say back in room by 8.50. Put on makeup say 30 mins, clothes and general stuff means that 10.00am is the usual off time. Thats not ideal but it does work and thats the main thing. actually eating breakfast in a wig is a bit of a battle. Say get back by 8.45 pm. Remove contact lenses, makeup, run bath with bathbomb. 1 or 2 cans of M and S G and T extra dry, 2 units. Moisturise and eat meal with another 2 cans. Hopefully writeup journal. Music probably DAB radio Absolute 80's or Absolute Classic Rock going to Classic FM during the night. It seems to work. No really bad hangover, do not feel tired the next day. During the summer there tended to be a back at 5 pm remove makeup, bit of a sleep and up at 7 pm for a couple of hours, possibly having food outside; KFC or MacDonalds, 3 bottles of beer back in room, possibly a white wine spritzer in a bar. Going back even earlier bottle of white wine lots of Walkmab music, The Monkees comes to mind.
Premier Inn or equivalent seems to work. For Summer 2015, gosh already, will try for U of S.
Gone slightly off topic but worth hearing. Bizarrely walking on the stones remains of the railings at Sefton Park, Goretex off, with flats seems to be the big initial take home event. That and the Phiharmonic Pub.
Saturday, 1 November 2014
Back Home Again
First quick pass on the holiday. Well 2 days dressed. Dressing service. Actually did Liverpool dressed. Say 1 hour each way by train, no issues. I am going to say it all went well. Did not make the Palm house, for the second time it was booked, super. Still The Philharmonic was a bonus. On one level feel a lot better about things. Ok did not pass at all but left alone, that will do. Got "sired" but politely, can live with that. Then again got a "Marm" too. Tired now, lots of nonsense about getting home blighted things. Lets keep positive.
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