Forward not back

I am not totally convinced seeing years as starting and beginning rather than a linear, times arrow, isa good thing.  However, We stand here staring into the vast unchartered 2013 and wonder what it holds and what we want to achieve so it has a value.  Its not going to be a review of 2012 which has resisted a single punch line.  It would be reasonable to assume one big summer holiday and 2 smaller few days away, indeed february is already booked.  With Manchester so close possibly one more.  What else? Well the hormones, will be upping to 4 mg per day, could be interesting. The support group is nice but not certain about its future or its importance, which is not to say I want to stop but some of the people are not quite what I would choose to spend time with, snob, moi?  In a sense Sunderland is a state of statis for Sapphire with the odd set of pics and   hurried dressing.  Allright the support group as well.  Yet that is the place I am say 49 weeks a year.  Possibly in a couple of years I could have my own place, that would change things dramatically. I could be unemployed, outed, doing a RLE, none of these things are impossible albeit unlikely.  OK here's the big thing.  Is male me just a platform for female me, do I hate being a male and need to transition so badly?  Talking about the real world.     Also separating SRS from transitioning here too.  Currently the answer is NO but it may change, need a different job though which in itself suggests the answer is NO.  Be nice to do London dressed, possibly some friends in Newcastle/Sunderland could see dressed that would be good    Well into fantasy now.