Anophelies Mosquito

Despite hving been through counselling, been outside and want to do it again and other experiences every so often it flares up like a bout of malaria.  Is it forn real and how far down the line am I?  Would I transition?  I would be so happy if I could find some evidence of childhood GID but there is not.  It is possible there is a whole bunch of suppressed memories which will one day jump out.  There is the possible false memory where I cut my penis and this memory really is somewhat odd but nothing else. What I am getting at is can I be truely transgendered if there is no history of it?  Perhaps ultimatly the answer is it does not matter.  Its where I am now that counts.  There is no this is silly or stupid when I dress or go out.  I have just clunked a glass against my right pierced ear labret.  Surely pierced ears mean something?  In August I will do Brighton and there will be beaucoup dressing.  Perhaps the question is "is 5 years enough to say its real?"  If the hormones meant anything its that transitioning needs a definite answer and if in doubt don't.