Reconnaissance by fire

Several possible topics here.  Could be getting a PA piercing, the hangover after 10 Paige days at Brighton but lets go with a rather more hinterland topic shall we say.  I have ordered 2 mg esterfom, spelt wrong, and lets say it arrives safely, lets say it does not trash my liver or a DVT clot wastes me.  Lets say rather it goes, as Brighton 2012 did, horribly right.  I feel better, right and happy.  What then? I like the term "diagnostic dose"   for that is what it is.  Lets ignore the wanting breasts bit.  Say I do not want to stop.  How long before physical signs become too apparent, before need to be Paige more often?  Lets be honest.  Its drive again.   Currently its OK, bit expensive, bit of unconfortable mental stuff but not too bad.  Coping.  The counselling was great for the spectrum idea but it did not really say where I am.  I am not in a happy place but I could be moving to a less happy place.  The assmption is that the final destination is a happy place.  What if it is not.  What if in getting there you do too much damage to a lot of things?  Transitioning at a school, get real.  IF, big IF, things get more serious,   would need to find new accommodation, new job at the very least.  Loads of sacrifices.  Tricky one.  No answers again.  Diagnostic dose indeed.